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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Part 1 of my Ramblings...

I can't believe this Saturday I will be 30 weeks! I can't believe how fast time has gone this pregnancy. I swear it was just yesterday that we got the positive. The nesting problem... yup I'm calling it a problem, and if you're pregnant, close to the end... and reading this you'll understand its a problem... has finally kicked in. I NEED to get things done, and not just a few things... EVERYTHING!!! Its this problem you see, I don't want to be not prepared. I want to be prepare
d by 35 weeks, meaning I have about 5 weeks to get EVERYTHING done. We may be buying her stroller/carseat combo tomorrow. We will most definitely registering at babies-r-us, so I can get my $10 gift card. I will be painting her name so I can start decorating the letters and hang the up soon. I have so much to do, I think I'll just type my list up right now....

This must be bought, obviously its a must have.

...Hospital Bag...
I want this to be ready, I'm not going to have some family member running around looking through my stuff to find me stuff while I'm in the hospital having Abigail, my sister-in-law, Dena, had me do this for BOTH of her babies... she's insane... I couldn't not have it ready...

all my laundry needs to be caught up with and I need to buy some laundry soap for her stuff... also laundry bags & hooks for her room

Needs to be bought
In the nursery still needs painted scraped off it and needs to be washed down oh and a swiffer needs to be bought

bulbs need to be bought for nursery... and the light fixture needs to be taken down and steam cleaned

Need to be bought for her clothes

...Breast Pump...
This will be a post of it's own... but one needs to be found

For her socks and such need to be bought... trying to make it really organized so it's easier for Daddy to get her ready
when he has her and I'm napping or being lazy

Need to be cleaned...

Need to be bought for her room...or even made
for baby stuff of course, and this will be done at at least one store tomorrow. That's a start, I didn't even register for our wedding... but Babies-R-Us has that cool "if you don't get what you want off your list, after baby comes you get 10% off it" deal... so I may go register crazy tomorrow... just in case I want something at 10% off after she comes.

press ons, just painting... whatever I need to have them done and kept up on...I used to do my toe nails at least once a week to make sure they
looked decent and were clean I haven't done them in months... really... it's ridiculous

The nursery needs to have at least some decorations in it before she comes... I want her room cute...I know it won't
matter to anyone but me, but its something that NEEDS to happen.

this list is going to get pretty long and I'm getting sleepy so I'll call it a night for now... and this will be labeled Part 1...

Sunday, December 26, 2010


So guess freakin' what? No idea? Well, I'll give ya a couple of clues....

***Clue Number 1***

***Clue Number 2***

Maybe that makes sense to you but, there is a huge chance that only that makes sense to me. So I'll let ya in on the secret? Well you can't really call it a secret. But getting on Facebook today I noticed that another sister-in-law deleted me.


I really have no idea what that is about. She's 10 years older than me, and we haven't really ever talked, we talked through messages on facebook back for a week or so this October after Skyler's birthday (the 26th) she apologized for not making it for cupcakes, wanted to get together for her birthday (Nov 8 a Monday), I originally thought it was just her and I but she wanted the guys there too, well Skyler was working till 9 that night and the drive home would be an hour and a half so I emailed her the next day (saturday) and told her we couldn't but that we were free Thursday that week if she wanted to, and I never got a reply back.

Seriously this whole in-law thing is getting pretty f*ck!ng ridiculous. I haven't even done anything or really talked to any of them in the last few months.

Yesterday at Christmas we went to see my husband's family for dinner at 4. Went downstairs to see his mom, found out that they are moving in a month, and just forgot to tell us. (They'll now be closer to us...oh joy). Then Skyler told his mom "I didn't know Amber would be here, I thought thats why you were doing a breakfast and dinner and asked which one we'd be at." Well that started a "you need to make up with your sister, she's family" bull sh!t, mini lecture. This whole time I'm ready to have a melt down... I didn't go there for that. I just went so he could see his mom and step-dad for Christmas. Well we sat in the kitchen for dinner, his mom was there for a min, then his brother for a bit... then the kids were going to open presents, we decided to just leave since it was uncomfortable, and now as I'm typing this, Skyler tells me he thinks we were supposed to get stuff for his nephews, but his mom didn't say anything to us about it, so he felt bad about it. We left nicely, told his mom bye and he yelled a quick bye to his brother as we were leaving. We were there a whole hour.... and now today she isn't my friend on facebook? What is her deal?! What is with this family? What are your thoughts on the baby shower.. do I invite these 2 sister in laws in hopes of them not coming? Or what? I'm not sure....

Saturday, December 25, 2010

29 Weeks!!

How far along? 29 Weeks!!

Baby's size? Abigail is the size of a butternut squash! She is between 15-17 inches and weighs between 2.5-4 pounds!

Weight Gain? Will find out on the 3rd for sure but I'm guessing 20

Stretch marks? Nope!!

Belly button in or out? It mostly sticks out now... though you can catch it staying in...

Sleep? Been better the last couple days actually slept for more than just 1 hr intervals.

Foods I am loving? Tortillas (we made breakfast burritos today {Friday}),chocolate of course, cereal, toast, and peach tea.

Foods I am hating? Everything has its place on this list at one point during the day.

Best moment this week? Getting her crib, changing table & bedding!!! Her room is finally coming together... we finally found the rug we'll get her, its a play mat but it matches perfectly with her bedding.

Movement? Yes!

Symptoms? Constipation, heartburn, when I get full I feel like my belly is stretched ! Leg cramps, stretching pains, rib pain hip pain, back is killing from holding up this belly and these gigantic boobs! Oh and Braxton Hicks. Especially yesterday while I was going crazy cleaning the house... so I guess nesting is a new symptom this week.

Gender? GIRL!!

What I miss? Absolutely nothing!!

What I'm looking forward to? All the Christmas Presents we'll be getting for her... getting more stuff for her nursery...our 30 week appointment

Weekly Wisdom:Take it easy :)

Milestone: This will be our last week in the 20's!! Only 11 weeks till her due date!

Emotions: Excited! Its finally feeling like she'll be here soon! I'm so glad that we're moving along so well now in the nursery... I'll have to post pics of that soon... I need to put up some of the decorations first though...Curious (thats going to be an emotion today if it isn't) to when she'll be here... I've constantly had dreams and feelings like she would come quite a bit early...I'm not sure if thats just a normal thought or if I'm being prepared mentally for it. As long as she is healthy I'm happy to have her whenever. Oh I was reading this week or last that if you have your baby at 28 weeks or 29 they have a 90% survival rate. I loved loved LOVED reading that.

Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. To meet his increasing nutritional demands, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because his bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk (or find another good source of calcium, such as cheese, yogurt, or enriched orange juice). This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


Just wanted to let ya know the crib and mattress are waiting to be picked up!! I get to get them tomorrow! Hopefully the changing table will be in too! So excited!!
And to end it all here are a few pictures at 28 weeks 2 days.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

X-mas lights

Last night we went to see the Christmas lights at Willard Bay. Skyler and I have always gone to see the lights together. We had already gone through Layton Park and Temple Square was too busy thanks to the David Archuletta (sp?) concert so we went somewhere new. It was wonderful to see my 2 year old nephew, Cadin, look at all the lights and get so excited over it all. I can't wait till next year. We will have a 9 month old! I didn't think that time would go that fast. It was crazy talking about her being so big when she isn't even here this Christmas.

Her crib, changing table, mattress, and bedding are on their way! Hopefully have the first few items by Wednesday so we can pick them up Thursday and set them up that night! The bedding said that it won't be here before the 24th, but will be here by the 29th, so we'll have it soon enough. We bought a night-light for her room today, it was $10 but its pretty! I can't wait to plug it in. I started making the list of things that need to be done/bought before she comes and its quite the long list but most of it will can be done pretty quickly.

The next big shopping item will be the stroller/car seat. I have a few picked out that I found at Babies-R-Us, so I need to use good ole mister froogle to figure out where I can get the best deal on those. We then need to buy the dresser. That thing is expensive! I can't believe it, but its obviously needed, not all her stuff can hang up in the closet or be put on her changing table.

I'm going to try and write little notes to miss Abigail before she comes while were in the process of preparing for her. So you'll see letters more often from me :)

Dear Abby,

Last night Daddy, Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle Steven, Cadin, Aunt B and I all went to see the lights at Willard Bay. This is the last time we will go as a family before you come. Daddy and I can't wait to have you part of our traditions.



Saturday, December 18, 2010

The X-mas Situation

This of course concerns the in-laws, I'm making it a quick as pleasant as possible post, I'm tired of the drama. Monday we got a text from SIL A saying she was finally home with the baby. I texted Skyler, asked if he was replying to her or if I needed to, he said I could and he was going to cut ties with her depending on her next response. So I quickly replied to her "Congrats", didn't want a huge problem to occur. Well I later heard from my husband that he cut off ties with her after asking if she deleted me on facebook, she said "yes, she shouldn't care she just talks shit on me anyway." I looked back 4 months worth of posts and nothing was ever about her.

So now we have the X-mas dilemma, his mom finally called last night left him a message that they were doing something at 4 on X-mas. Do we go? Won't it be awkward? I don't know what to expect.

28 Weeks... 7 months!!!

How far along? 28 Weeks!! 7 months! The 3rd Trimester!!

Baby's size? Abigail is over 2 lbs and 15 inches.

Weight Gain? Nothing this week still at a total of 16lbs

Stretch marks? Nope! Thank goodness.

Belly button in or out? Sticking out more often!

Sleep? Is still awful. Especially the last couple nights with my stomach getting sick again and hip pain.

Foods I am loving? Chocolate, peach tea, water, diet coke (a little sip here and there)

Foods I am hating? Everything.

Best moment this week? Ordering her crib, changing table, mattress, and bedding! We now have everything but the dresser on its way! The dresser will wait though.

Movement? Yes, she sure does like to dance and party in there.

Symptoms? Nausea still, heartburn started this Wednesday (it is not a friend), leg cramps, feeling a baby under my ribs, having to eat fiber bars to keep things going, leaking boobs again/still, braxton hicks-- I know they have to be them, I'm sure of it, they aren't awful but aren't pleasant.

Gender? GIRL!!

What I miss? Nothing! :)

What I'm looking forward to? Getting all the stuff we ordered, our 30 week check up on the 3rd with an ultrasound!!!, seeing what we got for Christmas!!

Weekly Wisdom: Take it slow and drink lots of fluids.

Milestone: 3rd trimester!!

Emotions: Doing wonderful! Finally have everything falling into place nursery wise was a big help in relaxing my mind and stomach--nerve wise.

By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

27 Weeks

These pictures are actually from 26 weeks I'll try and take more later
just glad that I actually took some and posted them for a change!

How far along?
27 Weeks!! Holy cow! Can't believe it! I think this is the beginning of the 3rd Trimester. I'm a little lazy at the moment and don't feel like looking it up :)

Baby's size? Little Miss is the size of an eggplant! About 13-14 1/2 inches and 1.5-2 lbs.

Weight Gain? At the doctors on Monday I had gained a total of 16lbs. Can't believe how much it's gone up!

Stretch marks? Nope, I check every night and morning.

Belly button in or out? As I write this it's out thanks to Miss Abigail and her bony body.

Sleep? Sleep is either amazing or awful. I have to be in bed for about 12-13 hours before I feel any sort of energy and even then I'm pretty tired.

Foods I am loving? PB&J sandwiches, oh and peach tea!

Foods I am hating? Mostly everything.

Best moment this week? Would probably be Wednesday night when she started moving like her normal self again.

Movement? Yes! She is moving all the time! All over the place it's a wonderful feeling! I love being able to push back and get a response!

Symptoms? Nausea of course, have I mentioned the my boobs have started leaking wth?!, kidding-they do leak but it's for a good cause, charlie horses... oh my heck! Those are painful.

Gender? A little girl!

What I miss? Nothing at all!

What I'm looking forward to? Reaching the 7 month mark next weekend, oh and Christmas, can't wait to see what we got for Abigail! Oh I get to order her bedding this week too! Hopefully I can order the crib soon!

Weekly Wisdom: If you feel like something is wrong just go to the doctors, and don't feel stupid if everything turns out to be perfectly fine, it's better to be safe then sorry!

Milestone: 3rd trimester!! I think its safe to say that, if its not till 28 weeks then I'm only a week early!

Emotions: Relieved, you can look at my Wednesday post and see what happened then. Excited to start putting her stuff in her nursery and to finally have a bedding picked out that with our Christmas money will be free. Scared we won't have her stuff all ready for her. Nervous that we're not ready. Just the normal stuff I guess.

This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended. She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if she were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother her, so just relax and enjoy the tickle.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

A gift from Daddy


Today was quite an eventful day. Pardon the language but you scared the hell out of me! You didn't move much before bed last night and this morning only a few quick jabs from you and nothing. That's right, your normal busy body self wasn't busy at all. No movement from 8:30 am till 3 pm and after 2 glasses of orange juice through out the day, Grandma had me call Dr. M. Daddy knew everything would be fine but I was too worried. But as soon as Dr. M found your heartbeat you did 2 quick jabs. Then the nurse took us across to the other Dr.'s side and hooked me up to what they call "the machine". It just measured your heartbeat and any contractions. The whole time she was trying to get your heartbeat you kept moving and moving, but for the half hour she was gone you moved maybe 2 times that I could feel you. But Dr. M said that everything was perfectly fine and he'd see us again in January. You're finally starting to move around like you usually do, but any period of not moving scares me.

On to what Daddy did for you today. Daddy and Mommy don't have extra money to go out and buy fancy stuff, all our money goes into making your nursery the best place ever. Well Daddy got out of class early and went to the mall and bought us a gift. Daddy got a beautiful pearl necklace, bracelet and earring set for us, the bracelet is for you when you are big enough to wear it to church and special events. Daddy wants to buy you everything shiny and expensive, so I'm sure you'll have tons of special things from him, but this is the first thing Daddy has gotten for you, I haven't even gotten anything for you yet though I am crocheting baby booties to keep your little toes warm. We love you and can't wait till March so we can meet you.



Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Train & The Vent

It's crazy to think that I've already been pregnant for 26 weeks and 4 days. I'm almost to the 7 month mark. Time is going by so fast. I love it but at the same time wish this pregnancy wasn't coming to the end so soon. I want to see Abigail more than anything and can't wait for her to be here and to put her in cute little dresses, but I feel that this pregnancy thing went by too fast. Does that make sense? I hope so. This Saturday will mark 27 weeks, with only 13 weeks left. I'm getting close to the end of the double digits week wise. Is this really possible already? I know everyone says that the end goes by so slow but I feel like its a speeding train that isn't slowing anywhere.

I need to vent about my in-laws for a moment. I'm realizing I need to be more positive about this whole situation so I will be trying my best to word this properly and kindly because who wants to read a post by a negative nancy? My sister-in-law A, the one I don't necessarily get a long with, has a planned c-section tonight, everyone has been told but me. (She sent out a mass text Monday and her father sent a text to Skyler last night.) I don't get it. Why can't I be told?

Also A & her little sister S want to throw me a baby shower, a week before Miss Abigail is due. I don't see that working out very well, and with some of the things going on I don't want to have a baby shower from them, so my sweet mom said she would invite Skyler's group of people over when she does my baby shower. I can't wait to go to my baby shower. It'll have people I love and people that support me there, and it'll also have people that I guess we'll say "should" be there.

Moving back to topic, I feel so left out of everything with Skyler's family. Not once since I've been pregnant have I gotten a phone call/text/email/comment/carrier pigeon asking how I'm doing. Asking if I need anything or just want to get out of the house. Everyone else that is or was pregnant this year have had people bending over backwards to make them happy and do stuff for them, why am I different? I want our relationship to be good, I know what its like having a parent hate the other side of the family growing up, and I didn't understand till I was older that their differences shouldn't have affected me so much. I should have been able to like them if I wanted to, and now I do. I have a great relationship with both sides of my family. After asking Skyler for advice on this subject he said I should keep trying. I don't know if I can. Its too hard. What to do? What to do?

Anyway, vent is over. I feel better knowing I wrote it nicely and got a lot of what I feel out. So whoever has read this thanks for letting me steal your eyes for a bit. Hope all is going well with you.

Monday, December 6, 2010

The Sugar Test

Today was the glucose test...the test where everyone complains about the drink. I too will be commenting on this drink right now. I woke up right in time to hurry and drink 50 g of the lemon lime flavored drink. The taste wasn't too bad, tasted just like flat sprite, then it hit my stomach, I wanted to barf. I needed to. I had to. But I didn't. I couldn't. I wasn't going to take the test again. I had to man up and keep it down. Abigail didn't seem to like it that much either, she's usually pretty active in the morning when I'm getting ready but after that drink she just chilled. My 26 w 2 d appointment informed me that I had gained 9 lbs in the last 4 weeks! WHAT THE HECK!? That's more than I gained in the first 22 weeks total! So now I'm up 16lbs with this pregnancy. Then the blood draw comes, I can handle that perfectly fine but this time my vein came out all bruised and puffy and still is. It still hurts after being drawn 11 hours ago! Then the kind doctor came in and measured me and said everything was great! I see him in 4 weeks for my 30w 2d appointment and at that point we'll have an ultrasound down to check on miss Abigail, and to check the placenta. This is my last 4 week appointment. After that the time between gets shorter and shorter. Anyway, this glucose drink is kicking my butt even now, I've tried milk a sandwich, an enchilada, a little ice cream, and nothing is making my stomach or my head feel better. This better wear off tonight. I want to have a nice rest. I would do this test every day if I had to, but it wouldn't be easy. Good news is my doctor never called me today, (I'm sure he said he'd call today if something was wrong with the test) so I'm pretty certain that means I passed my test!

Hope everyone is doing well!!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

26 Weeks!

How far along? 26 Weeks!!

Baby's size? She is the size of an eggplant! About 13-14 1/2 inches and 1.5-2 lbs.

Weight Gain? Will find out on Monday.

Stretch marks? Nope.

Belly button in or out? Depends on where Miss Abigail is laying

Sleep? Sleeping is awful!

Foods I am loving? Smothered Burritos from La Puente

Foods I am hating? Anything is hated at any point.

Best moment this week? Feeling her move around to Cadin talking!

Movement? Yes. But he can be a little booger. She will be moving up a storm and as soon as Skyler puts his hand on my belly or starts to watch for movement, she will stop moving!

Symptoms? Same as always

Gender? A LITTLE Girl!!

What I miss?Nothing at all!

What I'm looking forward to? The 3rd trimester, a baby shower (not happening till February), getting her crib and all the fun stuff for her nursery.

Weekly Wisdom: Take lots of breaks and drink lots of fluids

Milestone: Last week in the 2nd Trimester!

Emotions: Good :)

The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. He's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air. And he's continuing to put on baby fat. He now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber) from head to heel.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Always in the back of the mind....

Lately with the holidays coming up I've been thinking about where my husband and I were the last 4 years that we've done holidays together. The first year we had been officially dating for about a week when Christmas came, the next year we'd been married for 4 months and we're buying a house. The third year we'd been trying for almost a year and of course AF shows up on Christmas day right as I get to meet my cousin's (who is 6 months older than me so he was 21) 15 year old pregnant fiancée! Talk about a not very unemotional holiday. This year we have Miss Abigail Cheyenne moving and kicking away. Growing stronger and getting closer to being here with us.

Which got me to thinking, I haven't really had that oh my gosh we're pregnant moment yet. I know she's in there, I feel her, she has a name her nursery is painted, clothes are being bought by my mother and sisters, I'm looking at all the stuff we need i.e. crib, changing table, sheets... I'm 26 weeks tomorrow. Why don't I feel pregnant? Why am I still jealous of pregnant people and still worried that this is all a dream and could end at any point? I find it crazy that 18 months of trying has done so much damage. I feel like I'm the only one that feels like this. I don't think anyone understands. No one. I think that makes family get together party things a hard thing for me to go to. Knowing that none of the people that are pregnant there and the one that just had her baby didn't have to try. They don't know what its like to wonder if you'll ever have the experience of being pregnant. I'd have given anything any day to be pregnant, to experience all that. I'm scared of the labor and delivery part but am looking forward to it, looking forward to being able to say, that's right I got pregnant and delivered a baby.

Does anyone else still feel that sting of infertility? I know I only tried for a year and a half, and only saw a doctor 3 times and after a few months of metformin it worked, I know others have more painful and more serious stories, but it still hurts, it still changed my life. If you do know how that feels, what did you do to get away from that feeling? That jealousy, that disbelief?

Saturday, November 27, 2010

25 weeks!

How far along? 25 Weeks! Can't believe we only have 15 to go!

Baby's size? Our little miss is the size of an eggplant! About 13-14 1/2 inches and 1.5-2 lbs.

Weight Gain? Won't know this til my 26 week appointment.

Maternity clothes? Sometimes not usually though.

Stretch marks? Nope.

Belly button in or out? Depends on where the little miss is laying. I've started to notice she pushes my belly button with whatever bony body part it might be.... it hurts.

Sleep? Meh. Sleep is never good, though the last couple days it has gotten better.

Foods I am loving? Potatoes, pizza, flaming hot funyons.

Foods I am hating? Anything that doesn't sound good, really doesn't sound good.

Best moment this week? Skyler repainted her nursery last night! We'll be touching up and redoing the baseboards today!

Movement? Yup! She is quite the mover in there.

Symptoms? Same as always!


What I miss? Absolutely nothing! :)

What I'm looking forward to? Working more on her room and getting more stuff for her! My mom bought her her first pack of diapers and socks this week!

Weekly Wisdom: Sit back and relax!

Milestone: Getting past the 6 month mark was huge! She's getting so big and moving so much! Getting the nursery painted and slowly being allowed to start buying stuff soon!

Emotions: I'm so excited to meet her! I can't believe how fast time is going! I'm worried I won't get everything done though! Lately I've been having these awful dreams, where something goes wrong, I start bleeding and am being rushed to the hospital or am at the doctors. I never know what happens I always wake up thank goodness! But those dreams are starting to worry me, like I need to be prepared for anything. It's scary, but I always have a feeling that she'll be just perfectly fine, happy and healthy is all I ask.

Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. Her weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but she's beginning to exchange her long, lean look for some baby fat. As she does, her wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and she'll start to look more and more like a newborn. She's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Last Year.

I've been thinking a lot the last week or so about where I was at this time last year and the years before. Last year the night before Thanksgiving I had given up hope of being pregnant at all... ever. I was done, at that point a girl my brother sorta date a while ago told me she was pregnant and she was only 18 at the time. I couldn't take things like that anymore. I went to all the Thanksgiving meals hearing about and seeing pregnant people everywhere. I was ready to just curl up and die. Last Thanksgiving was really hard. This year I have a beautiful little girl growing in me. I'm almost 25 weeks pregnant. I'm getting close to having her in my arms.

Last year I still had some hope that I would be close with my husbands family. This year I know that it probably won't happen. I wish things would be good between us all, but there hasn't been any effort from them. There isn't anything at this point that gives me hope. I've tried offering to help, I've tried text, email, comments on facebook, anything and I get nothing. I'm tired of being ignored, just pushed to the side. I can't handle it anymore. I wish they didn't live so close. Or that I didn't want to make Skyler happy so much (with that situation only, I love him and want him to be happy so I continue and continue without results to get along with his family).

Last year my husband was working at a crazy job, this year he has a job where he has 4 days off in a row where I get to spend time with him.

Last year my family was in California, this year we will all be gathered around my parent's table like we should be.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

24 weeks!!

How far along? 24 Weeks!!

Baby's size? Little Abigail is still the length of a papaya. About 10.5-12.5 inches and over one WHOLE POUND!! :) She's rapidly gaining ounces each week now!

Weight Gain? Not sure again... though last Dr.'s appointment was 7 lbs.

Maternity clothes? A mixture

Stretch marks? Nope.

Belly button in or out? It really depends on where she is laying.

Sleep? Blah... don't feel like talking about the sleeping problem.

Foods I am loving? A variety of things.

Foods I am hating? Anything fast food or greasy.

Best moment this week? Seeing Abigail move and feeling her get stronger and stronger!

Movement? Yes.

Symptoms? Same as always


What I miss? Absolutely nothing!

What I'm looking forward to? Working on the nursery! I can't wait to get all her stuff!

Weekly Wisdom: Sleep whenever you can.

Milestone: Making it to 6 months!!

Emotions: Still up and down. But mostly good. It honestly depends on the situation.

Your baby's growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts him at just over a pound. Since he's almost a foot long (picture an ear of corn), he cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but his body is filling out proportionally and he'll soon start to plump up. His brain is also growing quickly now, and his taste buds are continuing to develop. His lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help his air sacs inflate once he hits the outside world. His skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

23 Weeks

How far along? 23 Weeks!!

Baby's size? Little Miss is still the length of a papaya. About 10.5-12.5 inches and over one WHOLE POUND!! :)

Weight Gain? 7lbs as of Monday

Maternity clothes? Sometimes.

Stretch marks? Nope.

Belly button in or out? Still in.

Sleep? Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Last night was okay :)

Foods I am loving? Snickers, Rocky Road Milkshakes

Foods I am hating? Greasy stuff.

Best moment this week? Feeling little miss move around and on Thursday Skyler felt her too! Oh my mom felt her Wednesday!

Movement? Yes!!

Symptoms? Same as always.


What I miss? Nothing.

What I'm looking forward to? Getting stuff for her nursery!

Weekly Wisdom: ummm...

Milestone: Almost to 6 months!

Emotions: Excited! Can't believe how much she is moving this week, bouncing around everywhere!!

Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With her sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that she's more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound (about as much as a large mango), you may be able to see her squirm underneath your clothes. Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby's increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing her for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as your dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze her when she hears them outside the womb.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

22 weeks!

How far along? 22 Weeks!! According to one of my baby books this is my last week in my 5th month!

How far along? 22 Weeks!!

Baby's size? Little Miss is the length of a papaya. About 10.5-12.5 inches and one WHOLE POUND!!

Weight Gain? I find out on Monday... I'm kinda worried, I've been eating non-stop the last couple weeks.

Maternity clothes? Sometimes, but everything still fits (with the belly band on pants or a hair tie).

Stretch marks? Nope.

Belly button in or out? Still in, but the top is starting to stick out like a beak sometimes.

Sleep? The last couple days have been great, but usually I can't sleep.

Foods I am loving? Life, and rocky road milkshakes!

Foods I am hating? Everything at one point or another.

Best moment this week? Feeling her kick! On Monday night, (I really wanna say Monday but sometimes think Tuesday.) a5 10:51, I was laying in bed trying to sleep, when I felt something... hmmmm... was that her? Or just gas? Could be either I guess... 11:21, insert popping feeling... hmmm let's poke at that see what happens... a few seconds later another pop, we had a kick/poke war for half an hour that night! After the first couple responses I knew it was her! Now I feel her randomly here and there sometimes a few kicks here, or just one there. That first time was definitely the most I've felt her.

Movement? Yes. See above :)

Symptoms? Nauseous quite often. Okay nearly the whole day long...

Gender? GIRL!!

What I miss? Nothing :)

What I'm looking forward to? Working on her room and feeling her more!

Weekly Wisdom: Poke at the pop feeling, it may just poke back!

Milestone: Movement! 2 weeks away from 6 months!

Emotions: Still all over the place, I feel like I could cry if someone was mean to me at any point.

At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. Her lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and she's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath her gums. Her eyes have formed, but her irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers her body and the deep wrinkles on her skin, which she'll sport until she adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside her belly, her pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.

Monday, November 1, 2010


No pictures here. We didn't even buy candy for trick or treaters, knowing that we wouldn't be home. We had a pretty chill holiday weekend. We went to Kohl's and the mall on Saturday, where I found the best sweat pants at Victoria's Secret, only to come home and find 5 holes in them! They were so nice there, which is one of the reasons I had to write about it. Usually we just get ignored and brushed around with everyone but this time everyone was like are you okay? Feeling okay? Wanna sit down? I of course didn't feel very good Saturday so I looked like crap for sure but, it was nice to get some sort of I wouldn't say respect but I can't think of another word for it right now. That night we ate chinese and played Phase 10 with my parents and little sister! It was perfect :)

Sunday we of course had church, and boy were those primary kids wound up! After that it was a quick trip to exchange my sweats and lunch, after a fake nap (me trying to trick my body into falling asleep during the day... I'm unable to do this unless my body shuts down on its own, I'm a in bed by 11 at the latest and up whenever my body is ready person which is usually early) we headed to my parents for Sunday dinner then off to the SIL's for cake & ice cream for the FIL's birthday. That was quite the experience.

It wasn't bad it wasn't great, it was just there. Both SIL's were there, one is 7 months pregnant and the other is 3 and they look pregnant, me... not really most days. I felt out of place almost. *** pause to grab belly and talk to Abigail , I think I may finally have felt some definite kicks!*** Anyway, the younger sil (22 a yr older than me) slightly annoys me, her and her husband would smoke pot all the time and cigarettes and just stopped not too long before she got pregnant (supposedly) but who knows, I just don't get it, and she always acts like she is way older than me.... and the oldest sister always pulls the same crap...

To my husband:

Her: We both need to work on getting together more, we used to be so close, everyone thinks its my job to get the family together. I'm just really sick all the time and I know Sara is too

My thoughts: Wait wait wait, you know how I feel? You don't talk to me... how in the heck would you know how I feel....

Her: You'll feel awful for at least 2 months after having your baby... and while Skyler is gone I should feel better by then so I can come help you....

My thoughts: %$)*&!@*$!*&$_#(*%_!(#%&$*&%_@*#%(#$& ***That's about it****

Also before dinner my MIL called Skyler and wanted to see us and see how Skyler was doing... and he told her "Mom I'm fine, its Sara you should check on once in a while." That shut her up .

My in-laws are all great people they really are, and like my dad says "everyone is nice" I just haven't found that happy spot with them yet. I wish them the best and thats all I can do.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

21 weeks!

How far along? 21 Weeks!!

Baby's size? Little Miss is the length of a banana or a carrot. 10.5 inches and 12.5 ounces...The Little Miss grew about 4 inches this week!!

Weight Gain? Haven't weighed myself in some time now, I'll have to remember to post after my 22 week appointment with some weight info.

Maternity clothes? Sometimes!

Stretch marks? Nope.

Belly button in or out? Still in but lookin' funny!

Sleep? Has been better the last few days! I wake up, quite a bit, last night I may have actually woken up to feel her kick a couple times!

Foods I am loving? Breakfast food and chocolate!

Foods I am hating? Mexican, greasy fast food stuff.

Best moment this week? Finding out the gender! And possibly feeling her move!

Movement? I think so! But there hasn't been a definite that's her! movement yet. Hope that makes sense.

Symptoms? Nausea and vomiting. Still need my zofran once a day.


What I miss? Nothing :)

What I'm looking forward to? Working on her room! Feeling her move!

Weekly Wisdom: Still don't trust a sneeze or a cough.. it could end badly.

Milestone: 21 weeks!

Emotions: All over the place :)

Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. You may soon feel like she's practicing martial arts as her initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. You may also discover a pattern to her activity as you get to know her better. In other developments, your baby's eyebrows and lids are present now, and

Friday, October 29, 2010

Mother-Daughter Relationship...

First off, I love my mom, she's been there for me a lot. Everyone has their problems also, and my mom and myself included fit this part. Growing up was wonderful, but I have noticed a bunch of things that just weren't right, or could have been better. Lets start with a little background, I'll try and keep this short but who knows where this will go.

My grandmother didn't want my mom, my mother was very close to my grandfather and that made my grandma jealous. She tried to give her away and was very abusive mentally and physically. (Their relationship improved after my mom had me, I was the first grand-daughter on my mother's side, strange that a baby girl would break the hate bit). Now I know for a fact this affected my mother greatly. I also know my mother did damage to herself, she was a model and on the track team (needless to say I'm sure, that keeping her appearance up was a huge deal) now this has come back to affect my sisters and I. With the help of my wonderful husband I'm slowly letting "the number" (weight) thing go. I had a very hard time at first when I couldn't stop gaining weight no matter what I did, then when I lost it all it wasn't enough, and now that I'm pregnant, though I haven't gained more than 5 lbs in the last 5 months, I sometimes feel gross. It's an awful thing, and I am so glad Skyler understands me.

My mother also needs to be needed, and if you don't need her, you're not welcome to be around. She loves it when Skyler is gone and I'm sick so she can take care of me, but if I'm doing great and don't need help its pretty much like screw you. I love her, and I know that she doesn't recognize this, (I've talked to her plenty and to my dad and we just accept that she doesn't know).

I know I won't be like my mom or her mother, I know I can see the issues but I have still always wanted a little girl to prove that I can be better than them. That I can have a better relationship. I just can't help but wonder what this little girl will be like, and if I'll be able to give her everything she deserves. Guess I can't stop worrying about her already...

I know this wasn't the most pleasant post lately but I want to make sure I get that out there, see it in writing, know that I've told people of my goal, let them know I recognize problems in my own family when it comes to mother-daughter relationships.

Hope everyone is doing well!


I still can't believe yesterday already came and went. I remember scheduling the appointment at the front desk and thinking, "Holy Sh!t! that's a way off!", then it started to creep up on me. Soon it was the night before. And then the morning of. Then we were actually there. Yesterday was our 20 week anatomy scan ( I think thats what they call it). I couldn't sleep the night before, I was anxious the morning of, I was a mess, why? I'll tell ya why.

It all starts back in June, we still aren't pregnant and are heartbroken. I went to my parents house and my mom goes to tell me that she got a strange phone call from my grandmother not too long before I showed up. She goes on to say that my grandfather (who passed away 25 years ago) told my grandmother "Tell her to just relax, don't be so stressed, I'm holding a beautiful little girl who wants to be there with her." Now I know that sounds crazy, but heres a little background on my grandparents, they were married very young and my grandfather died of bone cancer before I was born, not too long after my parents met. He was and still is such a big part of my family's life. Now I definitely believe that there are spirits watching us, too many things have happened in my life and the lives of those around me to say that we're the only ones watching out for us. Well a few weeks after this phone call, I found out I was pregnant.

Well I'm sure you can guess that I've just had this feeling this baby was a girl. Well I do want a girl, I want to make sure her relationship with me is different but the same as the one I have with my mother (that's a whole other post, probably the post after this). My husband's siblings all have boys, (His oldest sister is expecting a girl in December), and the only biological grandchild my parents have is a little boy, they have 2 girls and a boy from an adopted son, and a boy from the other adopted son, so needless to say there are a lot of boys!

I've just been drawn to girl stuff. I absolutely love it. I've always felt... well girl. We have a little boy's name picked out and when I talk about him (as a future child) thats exactly what I feel that he's not ready to be here with us yet. And sure enough our ultrasound tech said girl! She's beautiful, just a normal black and white ultrasound but it was beautiful. Now for all the details of the appointment... I know this post is getting long but I'm up way early and all alone so it's posting time!

Baby is measuring between the 12th & 17th of March.
Her guess weight is 12 oz, which makes her weigh as much as a 22 week baby. :)
She loves to relax, she didn't move much but her feet at the appointment and her hand once.
She kept her legs crossed the whole time, with a hand on her head and one on her belly! She didn't want the tech to have a spread-eagle view of her parts, but she said she's seen enough that she would definitely say girl, nothing extra was there! :)

** I know, it was a for sure shot, but I don't feel like I need to go get another ultrasound done at one of those places, I don't feel unsure and I keep praying about it, keep asking if I need to go see that its little boy and not little girl and nothing. Though Skyler does want to go do the 3d or 4d ultrasound just to see baby girl again :)! **

All in all it was perfect. I can't wait to meet her!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

20 Weeks!

How far along? 20 Weeks!! Half way!

Baby's size? Baby Summers is the size of a cantaloupe. 6.5 inches and 10.5 ounces...according to

Weight Gain? 2 lbs

Maternity clothes? Sometimes, depends on the day :)

Stretch marks? Nope.

Belly button in or out? Still in but after I eat it definitely starts to pop more!

Sleep?Blah, I really wonder where my energy comes from. I don't sleep at night, well I'm sure I sleep just not sure how much, I feel like I'm awake every few minutes.

Foods I am loving? Ummm... I think I can eat almost anything. Subs the last couple days though.

Foods I am hating? Anything that smells too strong.

Best moment this week? Hitting the half way mark!

Movement? I don't think I feel anything yet.

Symptoms? Same as always, constant sick stomach, I tried to go with out taking my Zofran before bed Tuesday night and woke up the next morning and couldn't stop throwing up, the next few days after that I didn't feel the same, missing that one pill really messed up my stomach.

Gender? We find out at 20 weeks 5 days! So only less than 4 days til the reveal!!

What I miss? I love being pregnant!

What I'm looking forward to? Feeling the baby move! Finding out the gender!!!

Weekly Wisdom: Don't sneeze or cough with a full bladder.

Milestone: Being half way through until the baby comes!!

Definitely been all over the place the last week. I've lost it :)

Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.)

He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).

Sunday, October 3, 2010

17 Week Update!

How far along? 17 Weeks!!

Baby's size? Baby Summer's is the size of an onion! About 5 inches and 6 ounces. Baby gained an ounce and half this week!!

Weight Gain? At my 16 week check up I had finally reached 146.3 meaning I've finally gained weight compared to my pre-pregnancy weight, a whole pound!

Maternity clothes? Definitely more comfortable to wear but I can still wear regular shirts and squeeze into my jeans but I do love my maternity pants a whole lot more than and other jeans I have .

Stretch marks? No.

Belly button in or out? Still in, but imore shallow than it was pre-pregnancy.

Sleep? Not the best week for sleep, I've had a lot back and hip pain ( I was born with my hips out of place so they had to grind them back in and so 20 years later I'm still dealing with my hips grinding and popping out of place so it'll be interesting to see how this pregnancy goes) which keeps me up and every time I have to move I have to grab on to Skyler to help roll to the other side.

Foods I am loving? I could nearly eat anything this week.

Foods I am hating? Ummm... greasy stuff just the thought of it makes my stomach turn.

Best moment this week? Hearing Baby Summer's heartbeat on Monday was wonderful!

Movement? I don't know, my Dr. did say that most likely wouldn't happen until 20 weeks for me. I'd definitely love to feel so movement though.

Symptoms? Nausea and still vomiting.

Gender? Oct. 28th is the big day!

What I miss? Nothing love being pregnant. :)

What I'm looking forward to? Movement and gender! Hopefully start feeling better

Weekly Wisdom: Cant think of anything right now.

Milestone: Making it to 17 weeks pregnant!!

Emotions: Haven't really seen much change in my emotions though if my energy is running low and you want me to keep doing stuff I'll get very cranky.

Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop.

16 Week Appointment.

Last Monday was my 16 week appointment, nothing exciting the nurse was extremely rude though. She said you're 15 w4d and of course I said no were 16w2d, (very nicely) and she was like well I'm going off of what the computer says. So I told her well he actually changed it by 5 days, so we always go off the new one, (I did this with my other nurse last appointment and she was like, yup he sure did!) but this nurse was awful and decided to lecture us and say I had to get the flu shot, which she is not very friendly at doing either.

My doctor came in and he was wonderful, explained why I had the flu shot, and we got to hear Baby Summer's heartbeat (didn't get a measurement though) and we planned my 18 week blood work (oct 11) and the 20 week ultrasound(Oct 28!)!!! Can't wait to go to either appointment, only 1 more week till the 18 week, then a break and its already time for the 20!! I was so glad it wasn't going to be a straight 4 week break between this appointment and the 20 week one. It's easier to deal with the time when its every 2 weeks. The 28th will be perfect, my husband's birthday is the 26th and my sister's is the 27th, so we'll all be together a lot that week and with halloween right after it'll be a great time to tell everyone!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

15 Weeks!

How far along? 15 Weeks!

Baby's size? Baby Summers is the size of a navel orange! About 4 inches and 2 ounces.

Weight Gain? I broke down and weighed myself this week to see if I was making any progress and according to the scale yesterday I gained about 4 pounds... I'm yet to check today to make sure that is right, but I won't let it bother me and I won't know for sure til my next appointment.

Maternity clothes? Regular tops though my t-shirts tend to hit right at mid tummy, (I do have a few maternity tops) and I have a pair of amazing maternity pants, that are in the wash :( so I'm stuck using the freakin' belly band today which is unfair, the band hits the belly just right that it makes the belly feel so bad.

Stretch marks? No.

Belly button in or out? Still in, but its starting to widen out and open up more.

Sleep? Some nights are definitely better than others, I bought an amazing body pillow last night for my hips and I slept perfectly for quite a few hours I'm sure, but woke up with a sick tummy and sleep after that was nearly out of the question.

Foods I am loving? Nearly anything, yesterday was a 1/2 chicken soft taco with HOT sauce. It was amazing till my sister's dog stole the last few bites....

Foods I am hating? The smell of anything.

Best moment this week? This is going to be a long one. The last couple weeks I've had to take about 3 Zofrans a day, and it was time to get a refill, my bottle said I got 10 more, meaning for the next 12 days I could only take 1 pill a day, I was horrified, I'd never done that before, well Wednesday I made it through with 1 pill, but Thursday morning came and I was holding on to the sink for dear life -- yes the sink, when its just stomach acid after a long night I can't dare get close to the toilet-- well Thursday night I went to get a refill, checked the bottle and they gave me 30!!! Meaning I can take 2 a day most days but if I really need it I can take 3!! It was a wonderful moment. It's also a wonderful feeling to have my husband want to see my belly first thing when I get home, and for him to lay his head on it and talk to Baby Summers.

Movement? I can't feel any yet, though I try to relax and wait for it. Can't wait!!

Symptoms? Nausea, vomiting -- not as much though-- sore boobs, aching legs when I sit down, acne, dry skin, forgetful --- very forgetful.

I could definitely notice the tummy more this week, I can't squeeze through things as easily as I could before.

Gender? No clue! Though if things go as we think/hope they will go we will get a sneak peek on the 27th!!! Only 9 days away!

What I miss? Nothing! I love being pregnant!

What I'm looking forward to? Gender and movement!!

Weekly Wisdom: Sit back and relax as much as you can, it really makes the days go by better.

Milestones: I am over a third of the way through!

Emotions: All over the place for sure, I started feeling better then worse again, then found energy but didn't want it... thrilled to be pregnant but it still seems so unreal to me. I feel awful thinking that its not real, that its just pretend, but for some reason it still is yet to really hit me that there is a baby in there, its mine and will be here in a little less than 6 months!

Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")
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