The Intro.

After a long inner-self debate, I've decided that to keep my sanity and to remain cool and collected in the presence of others I must write down my thoughts. I don't know if anyone will read this or even how long I'll post or even how often but for today I feel motivated. Life is hectic right now, so many new changes so much going on in life I even sometimes wonder how I deal with all of it.To start off I guess I'll give a little background information incase someone is a blog stalker like me and likes to learn about who they are reading about. (I'll explain this more later.) I will be 21 years old in a couple months. This fall I will be married for 2 years to my wonderful testing husband. I am the oldest daughter of 5 kids.

My issues are as follows:

My husbands family drives me up the wall most days... there is just something about each one that makes me want to scream. I know this is a problem with me, I need to work on it and yes I understand this but sometimes I just feel they are the problem and our lives would be much better without them this close. Well maybe it's not the closeness that bothers me, they don't even stop by and most live within honestly 2-3 minutes from us. It's frustrating to know they all visit and call each other but my husband and I are left out. We'll go for months without hearing from them. We've gone through some pretty serious things and no one was around to even just call and say hi.

My husband is a very unique soul. Him and I are actually quite similar in several areas just when it comes to interests we are definitely different. He's more outgoing whereas I am more conservative. I keep my feet on the ground, but do let my head dance in clouds once in a while. Just differences in personality so strong lead to arguments which are totally unnecessary. But at the same time it brings us closer and makes us a stronger couple.

We are currently trying to conceive (TTC). This is one of the major things I feel I will dwell on in this blog. This has been a long hard struggle for us. I know struggles have been longer and harder for other couples and they migh tlook at this and laugh but to us this is our current struggle. It all started with me getting on birth control. I still remember the day I went to the doctors to get on something. I was previously on the pill but I was very forgetfull and filling prescriptions and decided that was not going to be a good thing. We were living in an apartment after we got married and decided a 1 bedroom apartment was just not large enough for fitting for having a family. 3 months before we got married I went and got the Depo Provera Shot. I looked around at diff. birth control options and said hmm... maybe I'll ask about this so sure enough I went in and Dr. Idiot (this is my feeling about her as of now) said that would be perfect for you. In a year when you want to have kids just stop taking it and you'll be perfectly fine. Well I took the shot again in August and again in October. Things were pretty good. I did notice weight gain though, which was okay it wasn't much. In January we decided not to get back on Depo and just let whatever happens happen. We were currently in the process of buying a house and decided it was perfect timing. Fast forward 13 months later, still no baby.

Reading up on depo over the last 13 months has really opened my eyes and is making me worry. Most say 12-15 months after your last shot of depo you should get pregnant, well it hasn't happened yet. My cycle is normal for quite a while and then randomly out of the blue it screws up. I want a baby, my husband and I will both be finished with school by the time one pops out so it's perfect timing, he has a wonderful job and is looking for an even better one, hopefully today is the day. This post is long enough. I'm sure I'll post this and change the background and get going on another one so be ready.