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Thursday, July 1, 2010


Yesterday I decided to man up. I took my Metformin, of course I only took one and of course I felt pretty awful at several parts through my day but I lived. I didn't wake up in the middle of the night throwing up everything I have ever eaten and then some, I didn't wake up hoping to die, I felt fairly great waking up this morning. Maybe I'll be able to take Metformin continuously till my next Dr's appointment? I know I know, its only been 1 day and 1 pill, but I have yet to have been able to do that without wanting to die. I guess I still need to figure out what works for my stomach and Metformin. I know that no matter what I eat it seems that my stomach decides to bloat up unattractively, but I know its for a good reason and I'm more than happy to have this extra tummy bloat for it.--- Have I mentioned how excited I am about being able to make my doctor's appointments?! --- I honestly think this has been the only thing on my mind since Tuesday.

Family parties? this weekend, I know my family is having one, and I'm hoping Skyler's isn't. I know that sounds awful but I just can't stand it anymore. His older sister and his sister-in-law are both pregnant, the s.i.l is due in about 10 weeks and his sister is about 3 months along... maybe more, I really don't care. See we used to hang out once in a while stay up late talking and what not then her husband came home for a visit from AIT and she stopped talking to me for a few months then he came back for good and absolutely nothing, till April 19th, (the lovely day I started taking metformin and nearly died from all the throwing up) when she texted me not once but twice to tell us she was pregnant, that's right she pretty much poas and told everyone from her toilet. Personally I think that's ridiculous. I could understand posting to the blog or what not but she put it all over facebook and makes a point to point it out to me every time we talk through emails or every time we see each other at family parties.

She is also the one that likes to tell me she understands exactly how I feel because at one time she really wanted to have a family but she wasn't married and was getting old, **she was like 24** and thats how she knows how I feel. oh but not to worry, just because she can get pregnant fast doesn't mean she doesn't have other problems to deal with. I forgot those of us that can't get pregnant fast or easily don't have any other problems. I don't know about you ladies but I wish this was the only problem I have. I remember she told me once, oh I will not talk about the pregnancy all the time around you I know its hard, but sure enough that's the first thing she brings up, and honestly I don't care!!! I don't ask about it, don't tell me about it.

I know I sound absolutely rude, but I unfortunately haven't hit the point where I can be around people that don't deserve to have kids that have kids and keep having that, and be fine with it. Also, she threw me off by saying that she doesn't think we can be friends since she is pregnant and I'm not... what a b!tch... that's probably what pushed me over the edge the most, go ahead say you're better off, and that you know how I feel but don't say we can't be friends when I actually need them the most right now.

Wow what turned into a quick update turned into a complete breakdown of everything. Wish me luck with continuing my metformin this week, I hope everyone is doing well!


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