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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Last Year.

I've been thinking a lot the last week or so about where I was at this time last year and the years before. Last year the night before Thanksgiving I had given up hope of being pregnant at all... ever. I was done, at that point a girl my brother sorta date a while ago told me she was pregnant and she was only 18 at the time. I couldn't take things like that anymore. I went to all the Thanksgiving meals hearing about and seeing pregnant people everywhere. I was ready to just curl up and die. Last Thanksgiving was really hard. This year I have a beautiful little girl growing in me. I'm almost 25 weeks pregnant. I'm getting close to having her in my arms.

Last year I still had some hope that I would be close with my husbands family. This year I know that it probably won't happen. I wish things would be good between us all, but there hasn't been any effort from them. There isn't anything at this point that gives me hope. I've tried offering to help, I've tried text, email, comments on facebook, anything and I get nothing. I'm tired of being ignored, just pushed to the side. I can't handle it anymore. I wish they didn't live so close. Or that I didn't want to make Skyler happy so much (with that situation only, I love him and want him to be happy so I continue and continue without results to get along with his family).

Last year my husband was working at a crazy job, this year he has a job where he has 4 days off in a row where I get to spend time with him.

Last year my family was in California, this year we will all be gathered around my parent's table like we should be.

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