Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Journal

So it appears as though I've slacked on the blogging again, but not nearly as bad as I previously have, my 6 week update is tomorrow so I'll save most info for that but lets just say morning sickness is kickin' my butt!

So I can't remember at the moment where I got this, (I had it saved in word because I thought it sounded fun when I first looked at it!) but I'm thinking about starting this. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get to it every day but I will most definitely get the 30 posts out!

So it looks like today is day 1.

30 day blog journal...

Day 1-your favorite song- I love country and oldies. I grew up with them and thats all I can seem to stand lately. Anything that relaxes me is a big plus too! I love 2 John Michael Montgomery songs "I swear" and "I can love you like that" (Though after looking at the list of his songs I like most of them!)

Day 2-your favorite movie
Day 3-your favorite television program
Day 4- your favorite book
Day 5-your favorite quote
Day 6- 20 of my favorite things
Day 7-a photo that makes you happy
Day 8-a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9-a photo you took
Day 10-a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11-a photo of you recently
Day 12-something you are OCD about
Day 13-a fictional book
Day 14-a non-fictional book
Day 15-your dream house
Day 16-a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17-an art piece (drawing,sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18-my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19-a talent of yours
Day 20-a hobby of yours
Day 21-a recipe
Day 22-a website
Day 23-a youtube video
Day 24-where I live
Day 25-your day, in great detail
Day 26-your week, in great detail
Day 27-my worst habit
Day 28-whats in my handbag/purse
Day 29-hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30- a dream for the future

What's your favorite song!? Hope everyone is doing well!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

5 weeks!

How far along? 5 weeks!

Maternity clothes?
No but I'm starting to think I might need to look into some pants, my tummy is pretty bloated so my pants are really tight. Maybe I'll browse some stores later.

Stretch marks?
No, just the ones that have been there. Reminds me I need to buy some lotion while I'm out and about today.

Sleep? Has been great, I fall asleep almost immediately which is wonderful but no matter what time I go to bed I'm up around 7.

Best moment this week? Finally hitting the 5 week mark, also telling my family, (individually of course) then telling my dad, I was really against telling anyone because we're so scared of it not working out but my sister just lost a baby and I wanted to know what was wrong and my other one just came up and said I know somethings in there (kinda creepy) my dad was so excited which was a big relief for me, I was worried he'd be upset (he didn't know about us TTC, and I figured that was best.


Movement?
None.


Food cravings? I don't think so, I think most things sound good at some part, but I do know that sugar NEVER sounds good.

Gender? Not sure, but whatever the little sesame seed is we're very happy.

What I miss?
Nothing at all, so excited to be growing a little one!

What I'm looking forward to? Making it to 6 weeks! It's only a week away! Also my first OB appointment!!

Weekly Wisdom:
I'm not sure that I have any ummm... if your tummy is bloated and your jeans are tight unbutton the button , who cares what other people may think , you're pregnant! :)

Milestones:
Getting to the 5 week mark!


Emotions:
I think with each passing day it gets easier and easier to not be scared about losing the baby. Its really hard to focus on the future too much we're taking it day by day, week by week. We're extremely excited but very cautious!

PICTURES TO COME LATER AFTER I'VE GOTTEN READY FOR THE DAY!!


And of course the baby info!

Your Baby

Your baby's microscopic heart begins to beat this week—although it won't be detectable with one of those cool Dopplers for a few weeks, so you'll have to wait a little longer to hear that satisfying "whoosh-whoosh" you're so anxious for. Here's what else is under construction:

With the beating of the heart, blood will begin to circulate throughout the body. Your baby's first organ system will be up and running!

The beginnings of the brain; the cardiovascular, nervous and reproductive systems; as well as all other major systems are under way.

Your baby's new digs—the amniotic sac and the placenta (aka the hotel and the restaurant)—are still forming at this point. (Maybe you should send a housewarming gift.)

All that high-speed development and your baby is only 2 millimeters long—about the size of a sesame seed (check one out next time you're chowing down on a bagel—you won't believe how tiny it is!).

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Our History

I signed up for ICLW (I think that's what the letters are), and realized that my prior posts are that great, I was in a real negative place with TTC and not getting the beautiful two lines. I also noticed I didn't really have much info about the journey or about my husband and I so while he sleeps I'll be writing, (I also got enough motivation to try and make my blog decent looking {also that's my nice two liner up on the header}).

Okay so a brief history of me which will then just keep going up until today!

I was born in Utah and at two my parents moved my younger brother and I to California. I grew up there, and at the age of 16 my parents moved my brother and I as well as our three younger sisters back to Utah. I graduated high school at 17 and started college that fall. (I'm still working through my accounting degree, I took a year break in between).

In 2007, I moved in with my older brother and his wife after they had their baby girl (my beautiful god-daughter). I was getting bored of not knowing anyone and sadly (yes I'll admit that I'm a bit of a loser) I signed up for yahoo personals, now I looked around a couple times and never after that, I figured meh, I'm not that awful I can find someone (I worked with the public A LOT so I was constantly meeting new people). Well in the beginning of 2007, I got an email from this guy on Myspace saying he saw my yahoo profile, (great I'm attracting freaks now), and after looking through pictures and comments (yes I had to be nosey to find out what was going on with him) I decided what the heck I'll reply, we talked for a bit and then he ended up leaving for Germany for a few weeks and we stopped talking.

Well when November came around my family left for Disney Land and I stayed behind to work, well that same week I get a text from that guy I had been emailing and texting, and had no idea who it was, boy did that piss him off, and he quickly replied (I'll just lose your # then), I was able to convince him not to, thank goodness!

The Friday after Thanksgiving we met at Barnes & Noble (though I tried every excuse to get out of it, but for some reason just couldn't, later did I find out that he was going to quit trying after that) we went for hot cocoa, and saw Awake together, officially started dating December 16th, got engaged April 4th (my 19th birthday) and got married August 16th!

We got our house June 6th the next year and this July got our BFP!
Most Recent picture of us
The night before our wedding
Date time '09
Dating.
Dating

Monday, July 12, 2010

Positives everywhere!

I called the doctors this morning and it was absolutely amazing/crazy to call and say "hey we got a positive on our end!", I went for blood work during my hour break at work, boy was that wonderful. I passed the other pee test! And got 5 vials drawn and they said they'd call if anything was abnormal and to just go schedule my first appointment! It was so crazy I had to ask, "So I'm guessing I passed the pee test?", it still just seems so unreal and I know it will for awhile. My 8 week appointment is August 4th and my 10 week with the OB is August 19th. It's crazy how fast time is going to go, I was just telling Skyler how we'll be married for two years on August 16th, and now it'll be our 2 yrs and the 10 week mark! I'm already half-way through week 4. Which is such a big deal to us.

To be honest we're scared, scared that it's not going to work out, I feel like crap and I heard if you're sick then you'll be great (not saying that if you're not sick you won't be) I just don't know what to think right now. Keep us in your prayers!

So, I saw this on Ashley's blog and I know its so early, but I had to do it! I absolutely love how she devotes her Mondays to being updates! It's so cute! I want to do that also, but I'm sure it'll be between Thursdays and Mondays. Also Ashley has been such a blogger to follow! I started following her earlier this year around the time we called to see the doctors, and she has truly been an inspiration to keep trying and to stay positive. (I know only 1 person follows this but hopefully someday there will be more, so if you are reading this add me for starters and go check her blog out!)

How far along? 4 weeks and 4 days!

Maternity clothes?
Not yet, though I did wear a maternity shirt yesterday that I accidentally bought last year, so that's the only thing!

Stretch marks? No. BUT my boobs are so swollen, now they aren't very small to begin with (34D) so I'm nervous to see what they get to!

Sleep? I'm tired all the time! But I swear once I lay down for even just a minute I can't sleep, but I'm sure it's due to the excitement!!

Best moment this week?Finding out we are pregnant! (Our 18th cycle worked!!)

Movement? None.

Food cravings? Ummm... anything really, just nothing sweet, I've lost my love for chocolate, though right now I'm drinking a chocolate milk :)

Gender? Hmm... we'd love a girl! but a boy will be just as wonderful!

What I miss? Nothing at all! I'd like to say I miss not worrying about whats going on down there, the last couple days I've been noticing everything body wise, and some of the light cramps worry me nearly to death! I know it's normal but still!

What I'm looking forward to? Being able to see him/her.

Weekly Wisdom: Make sure your honey is close to home when you test so you can celebrate together instead of having to call him at the drill and let him know and wait ALL day to be able to see him.

Milestones: Finally getting our positive! And the positive at the dr's also.

Emotions: Excited! Nervous, thankful, hungry :) lol. Everything.



I know no one really cares to see my uncovered tummy but believe it or not I want to. I want to make sure I do a good job at documenting everything every week! I want to really experience this and be able to look back and read this blog and remember as much as possible (though I do doubt this will be hard to forget)



Just had to share this:

Your Baby
Your microscopic embryo is already hard at work this week creating the placenta, umbilical cord and the basics of his or her body.

The embryo is now made of three layers that will transform into the different parts of your baby's body. The endoderm, or inner layer, will become your baby's intestines, liver and lungs. The middle layer, or mesoderm, will become your baby's heart, sex organs, muscles, bones, and kidneys, and the ectoderm, or outermost layer, will develop into your baby's hair, skin, eyes, and nervous system. Believe it or not, your baby is already starting to look like a tiny little being (not necessarily a
human being) complete with a head, a mouth opening and a primitive brain and heart.

By the end of this week, your baby measures about 1/25 inch long, about the size of a period (like the one at the end of this sentence, not the one you just missed).


It's pretty neat to think that all of that is going on!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

We've got...

Whoops looks like my uploading did work, I just don't know why it won't let me delete one of move it... anyway you'll read more about that later in the post!










TWO LINER!!!







That's right we're pregnant! Didn't think that would happen, I was prepared for the worst today! As you probably remember from my last post, I was feeling everything this month! Really nauseous and just blah! I kept telling myself put it off for another few days, it'll start you've got a few cramps here and there, you're slightly bloated, and your boobs hurt, that's all period stuff. Well this weekend Skyler (the new daddy!!) has drill, so he left at 5 this morning, I was so worried about whether to test or not, and so I didn't get up (out of bed) when he did, I didn't want him to be there for the 18th no. (well it would be more like 25th no, thanks to all the tests I've taken). So I cowardly sent him a text "test today or wait?" and got "Test" well I sadly walked into the bathroom and got the stinkin' pee test out and sat there waiting, praying that it would say yes. I saw the gray move past the first part and thought oh goodness, but then a line showed up and got darker and darker and as soon as that showed up I'm thinkin' maybe that's the not pregnant line, maybe I've been looking at this thing wrong, and then the second line showed up. I don't know how to explain how I felt at that moment. I guess a little of everything.

All I know is, I called Skyler and said guess what we got... and I was so out in lala land by then thinking is this really it?! I don't remember what he said but I'm pretty sure he was thinking no, and when I told him we got two lines, he's like "oh" and I said no that's what we want! and he's like OH! and then he was like I'm going to be a dad! Right then I definitely wanted to break down, I wish he were here, but like he said "that was the best way to start out drill!"

So now on to a new stage in our lives, being pregnant. I don't even know where to start, I have a endo appointment on the 29th, and an ob appointment on the 17th, ( a day after our anniversary!) should I just call the ob and say hey we we're pregnant, can we just add that to our list of things to go over when i get there?! or Do i need to call both doctors, do I try and get an earlier appointment with someone else? I really don't know what to do... any help would be great.

Sadly I always thought we'd have more time where we had to keep testing and trying new things, but THANKFULLY we don't have to, I just never asked back in April what we were supposed to do when we end up pregnant. I feel stupid not knowing, I already feel like a bad mom, not knowing what to do to take care of this mini little baby growing so far.

Well any advice would help, and if anyone out there actually reads this blog follow me so I can make sure I follow yours!

Hope all is well.

Friday, July 9, 2010

questions...

So this last month has been pretty crazy. I don't know what's going on but I've felt sick to my stomach EVERY day for the last few weeks, I'm even a day or two late already. (Last cycle was only 27 days this is day 30 now), I haven't been able to take the metformin due to my sick stomach and my crappy work schedule. I have no idea what to think, I have random cramps the last almsot week, but they last a few seconds and no bleeding. Its hard not to get my hopes up, so I will not POAS until next wednesday, it'll have been a week late by then. My boobs are swollen, joy.

So anyway on to the questions... If this cycle doesn't work out, when I see my re should I suggest clomid? Or just try to force the metformin in, even though my efforts haven't ended well so far?

My husband will be in texas for a couple weeks next month so I doubt that cycle is going to work. Should I do an hsg then?

I'm so confused with everything right now, late period, sick tummy, swollen boobs, but cramps and haven't really taken metformin this month. Any advice?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Metformin

Yesterday I decided to man up. I took my Metformin, of course I only took one and of course I felt pretty awful at several parts through my day but I lived. I didn't wake up in the middle of the night throwing up everything I have ever eaten and then some, I didn't wake up hoping to die, I felt fairly great waking up this morning. Maybe I'll be able to take Metformin continuously till my next Dr's appointment? I know I know, its only been 1 day and 1 pill, but I have yet to have been able to do that without wanting to die. I guess I still need to figure out what works for my stomach and Metformin. I know that no matter what I eat it seems that my stomach decides to bloat up unattractively, but I know its for a good reason and I'm more than happy to have this extra tummy bloat for it.--- Have I mentioned how excited I am about being able to make my doctor's appointments?! --- I honestly think this has been the only thing on my mind since Tuesday.

Family parties? this weekend, I know my family is having one, and I'm hoping Skyler's isn't. I know that sounds awful but I just can't stand it anymore. His older sister and his sister-in-law are both pregnant, the s.i.l is due in about 10 weeks and his sister is about 3 months along... maybe more, I really don't care. See we used to hang out once in a while stay up late talking and what not then her husband came home for a visit from AIT and she stopped talking to me for a few months then he came back for good and absolutely nothing, till April 19th, (the lovely day I started taking metformin and nearly died from all the throwing up) when she texted me not once but twice to tell us she was pregnant, that's right she pretty much poas and told everyone from her toilet. Personally I think that's ridiculous. I could understand posting to the blog or what not but she put it all over facebook and makes a point to point it out to me every time we talk through emails or every time we see each other at family parties.

She is also the one that likes to tell me she understands exactly how I feel because at one time she really wanted to have a family but she wasn't married and was getting old, **she was like 24** and thats how she knows how I feel. oh but not to worry, just because she can get pregnant fast doesn't mean she doesn't have other problems to deal with. I forgot those of us that can't get pregnant fast or easily don't have any other problems. I don't know about you ladies but I wish this was the only problem I have. I remember she told me once, oh I will not talk about the pregnancy all the time around you I know its hard, but sure enough that's the first thing she brings up, and honestly I don't care!!! I don't ask about it, don't tell me about it.

I know I sound absolutely rude, but I unfortunately haven't hit the point where I can be around people that don't deserve to have kids that have kids and keep having that, and be fine with it. Also, she threw me off by saying that she doesn't think we can be friends since she is pregnant and I'm not... what a b!tch... that's probably what pushed me over the edge the most, go ahead say you're better off, and that you know how I feel but don't say we can't be friends when I actually need them the most right now.

Wow what turned into a quick update turned into a complete breakdown of everything. Wish me luck with continuing my metformin this week, I hope everyone is doing well!

Sara
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