Wednesday, October 12, 2011

PYHO: I'm pissed.

This post may be all over the place so please forgive me if things run on or jump around. Bullies. Jerks. Kids that hurt others, physically, or emotionally. We all have been bullied by someone at one point in time or another, it's something I fear for with my daughter, she's 7 months now, but what happens when she's older?

This all came about after a roller coaster week with my baby sister. R is amazing. I love her, and her amazing unique personality. She loves everyone. She stands up for people that are getting picked on. She wants to be friends with everyone, I've seen a variety of people come to her house, or see her at the store and come up to her just to say hi. I love it.

Well Oct 2nd, she had a seizure. Long story short, she now has a head tick and will have it for the rest of her life and will have seizures occasionally. She's in 10th grade, which here in Utah is the first year at the high school. Freshman still hang at the junior high. Now R is already having problems with people, she's different. She doesn't like the way her body looks so she dresses in guy clothes. She is clean and dressed nicely. She doesn't bother anyone in fact she tries to make friends with everyone, yet people say hurtful things to her in the hall.

She is now back in school. Her first day back, and people are already making fun of her tick. It takes everything for me not to go to her school and start stabbing people. What is it that makes people bully? My dad always tells us that people are stupid and only pick on people to make themselves feel better. Okay so I added the stupid part myself, but its true. I once heard or maybe read that when you're starting to feel judgmental about people that you should pick out something you like about them. Maybe their hair, or earrings, whatever it is that you can find. Apparently if you keep doing this it'll become habit and you'll only notice these things.

I'm trying to work on this. In years past I've been better than recent, when it comes to judging others. I try and find at least one thing good about people. I don't want Abigail to be that girl that says mean things. I don't want her to hurt others. I surely don't want her to hurt either. I remember being picked on in Elementary school. People would comment on the way I would speak. I had a hard time learning to pronounce? the letter R, and it's sounds. I went to speech therapy for it and don't have a problem now. Being embarrassed to speak, and then on top of that, the way I would dress. I didn't have boobs in 4th grade like everyone else, I didn't care how I looked. My hair was washed and brushed out, I was clean, I was a elementary school kid, I didn't need to have makeup or a push up bra. With those comments through out the years I find I hold on to things that I've done wrong. It makes me sick to think that I might say something wrong, I'm super self conscious, and won't leave the house looking crazy or with Abigail looking like an orphan. I know its wrong but I'm worried someone will say something.

I just hope that I can be a better mom, and that I can make sure that we aren't the family that is judgmental of the others.  I know you can't stop it completely but you can definitely keep negative thoughts to yourself. You can watch what those close to you say to others. I don't know. I'm just pissed. I don't want my sister to deal with bullies. I want her to go through high school happily. It breaks my heart that people are making fun of her. She has a condition that she can't control. If people would just grow up. I'll say it again. I'm pissed. I don't know how to end this.Other than to say for a third time, I'm pissed.


angela said...

Bullying is such a tough thing, and I don't have any real answers. I am so sorry your sister is dealing with it. I think the most important thing is awareness and acknowledgment, so she knows her concerns are valid and that she has a right to not be picked on.

Shell said...

I'm so sorry she has to deal with this. Kids can be so cruel.

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