I'm at a standstill.
I'm just here, waiting.
Waiting to see what happens.
Waiting to see what if I can figure out what to do next.
You see, it's been a year since (almost to the day) that I had "the talk" with my in-laws.
A year since: I told them about all the lies their favorite sister told, since I told them how much they suck at being in-laws, called them on all the times they broke plans without telling me, how I waited for hours to hear from them and got nothing.
A year since I told them I wasn't outgoing, I kept to myself and don't like everyone in on everything ALL the time. A year since I told them if they would just give me time I would get to know them and things could be better.
A year since they tried to break up my marriage. A year since they said I only had A to try and save my marriage. A year since they told husband to choose between me & A, and them. A year since I had accepted that my marriage was over because of the group of idiots my husband is related to.
You see, in that year, I opened up my heart and life, to allow them into it, and you know what, I got nothing. No phone calls, no texts, emails, nothing. I wasn't invited to anything, no plans were ever made. Nothing. They live 2 minutes away. They get together. They go out. They make plans. I'm not included.
What do I do? I've talked to my husband. He says I should keep trying with them. I'm over it. I'm to the point that I don't care if A doesn't see them or know them. It's not like they make an effort to see her or know her. I don't know what to do. It's been a year, they haven't changed. I just don't know anymore. Is it even worth it? What would you do?
Happy 2nd anniversary PYHO!
6 comments:
I have a very limited relationship with my hubby's family. Neither side makes too much of an effort and I'm okay with that. I figure if it bothered them they would try harder and vice versa. If there is something truly important I invite them but otherwise we just live our day to day lives and don't sweat it. I think if its important to you then go for it but really the effort would have to come from your hubby too - it is his family and he should be the one making an effort to do things with them that include you.
My heart feels for you. You are in such a rough spot and too live so close too! Just be true to yourself and love your daughter enough for everyone until they can get their acts together. They are the ones missing out on the both of you!
I have some in-law issues, too, so it's tough for me to give advice about it. I think it's most important to keep the lines of communication open between you and your husband. I'm sorry, though, it sounds like it's always going to be a little bit of a struggle with them.
A year and nothing? That would be so frustrating. That's a long time of trying.
I'd probably keep the door open and let them know that they are invited to different things, but I wouldn't go out of my way or change plans for them.
That's a really tough situation to be in. It sounds like you've made some attempts and your just not getting the response you want. If I were you I would just pray about it, and ask God to heal your heart regarding everything you've been through with them. The last thing you want to do is harbor unforgiveness towards them. It would be great if you all could be civil when your together especially for baby A. I have a feeling if things don't change they'll look back later when baby A is bigger and regret that they didn't make more of an effort. Sorry your dealing with this sweetie. Hope my advice helps. xo
I'm so sorry that nothing has changed. How incredibly frustrating. I agree with Shell on keeping the door open, but going on with your life.
I will pray for you and your family and for relief for your heart.
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