Sunday, August 12, 2012

Dad's Thoughts for Your Sunday.

My dad likes to send out texts to my siblings & I. They always have a lesson to be learned. Sometimes they are just what I need to read. 
The following is a text from my dad: 

" I had a communications class in college that I hated but it turned out to have the biggest impact on my life out of all the classes that I had. Today I am sharing with you one of the key concepts that I learned in that class... A concept that I did not believe for many years but is true and helps me have understanding, power and compassion when dealing with people. Please consider what I say next and let me know that you have read it.

 People have very strong needs. They need food, water, shelter, to be loved, and TO BE RIGHT. It is this last need that I ask you to ponder. People have a very strong desire to be seen as being correct or right.

 You will experience more success and happiness in life as you act and interact with people keeping this principle in mind. Think of yourself sitting in a classroom and your teacher asks you a question and you give the wrong answer in front of everyone. How do you feel? Why? What if you show up at a party and everyone is dressed in nice dresses and suites but you are in Levi's and tennis shoes. Everyone looks at you... How do you feel? Why?

 Imagine yourself taking a test in class and you know that after the test you will be required to pass your test to the person to your right to be corrected. And, after your test is corrected that person will announce your score to the teacher in front of the whole class. Will you be more nervous taking the test knowing that everyone is going to know your score? (This used to be a common practice when I was in school) Imagine yourself getting into a heated argument. The other person is slinging insults faster than you have comebacks. How do you feel? What do you want to do? Why? What should you do?

 In each of the above scenarios we can imagine the stress. Why stress? ...because of our need to be right or at least appear right in front of others. We think that if we are right we will be accepted by others (back to our need to be loved) and be validated or accepted by ourselves (we need to feel valuable). 

Each of us has heard about the virtue of humility. Each of us know that we have been taught to be humble. Humble does not mean weak or always being submissive. Humble means to be teachable and accepting of truth. When we are humble we let go of our NEED to be RIGHT and allow ourselves to seek the truth in any situation even if we are wrong. 

A humble person will seek for truth, admit when they are wrong and then move forward in a stronger or more enlighten position with the newly acquired understanding or truth.

 As we let go of "BE RIGHT" and grab hold of "SEEK RIGHT" we are able to defuse confrontations, control our emotions and more easily gain more knowledge and understanding. So, go forward with courage seeking and ACCEPTING truth in all you do. This is humilty and it is a Godly virtue that makes us better and better. It is difficult to understand the full meaning and power of what you have just read but having just read it is a good start to understanding. I hope you are able to ponder this message and that you can share some associated real life experiences. 

Have a nice day. Love, Dad  "

So, one of the key concepts to remember from the message is that generally speaking we can be right or we can be happy. We try for both but it is very difficult. The thought is that if we always try to show people we are right we just offend them.


Anonymous said...

Wow - the man can text! ;) What a great message, love.


Anonymous said...

I love this. So true!

Southern Belle Mama said...

What a great dad...and a great message. Humility is something we should all seek!

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