It's time for an update. Another cycle is just beginning, our second with Clomid. Seriously, when our plan was made for tlast cycle, I didn't think that it would work out. I figured that something so simple couldn't work. Then as each day started to pass, I would think "maybe this could happen" or "maybe I could be a mom to two" . As soon as CD 24 hit, I didn't feel very optimistic anymore. My blood work came back fine, but that wasn't the cycle that I got pregnant.
So now as I sit and wait for CD 10 to come, I start feeling optimistic again. Start thinking, "okay, I could have a July baby". I'd have a tiny little baby for my brother's wedding. Honestly, I don't know if the next cycle will work, but I still hope it does. If it doesn't we'll try again. We're not going to give up.
I've gotten some emails over the last couple months, from people saying they found my blog and are going through a stage of TTC, something they didn't think they would have to do. They say "no one IRL knows". They don't know how to deal with the disappointments each failed cycle. Honestly, sometimes I used to wonder how I got through all the disappointments. It was hard. I let myself cry if I feel the need to. I let myself be a little jealous of the baby bumps. Let myself wonder "why?!" when I see another announcement on Facebook of an unplanned baby. Seriously people?! So many would give an arm and a leg and whatever else they could, to have an "unplanned pregnancy".
You guys have been my support group. The place I turn to when I just don't know if I can deal with another failed cycle. When I first started blogging Ashley at Stealing Baby Kisses,(her blog is now private), was one of the first blogs I found. Her story is very different than mine, but I felt a connection. Someone that understood my want, or I guess I could say need to have a baby. She has also (without knowing) kept me trying to be positive through it all.
After that I started meeting more and more bloggers, quite a few that have become friends. People that don't necessarily live close by, but people that text me with pictures of positive pregnancy tests, birth announcements and so on. I know that most can't share their stories with IRL people, but I hope that if you're going through something you know that you're not alone. There are so many bloggers out here that are going through something, some could be just like you.
We're here to support each other. I know that I can't help but think about each person that has emailed me, as every month passes. Hoping that their time comes soon. I've said it in emails before, but not on my blog but I need to. I'm here for people that need to talk. I know every journey is different but everyone needs a friend, everyone needs support.
Hope all is well.