PCOS.

If you followed my blog in the very beginning, or ventured back and got to know me better, you'll know that it took us 18 months to get pregnant with Miss A. I saw a RE who though it was PCOS and he put me on Metformin for 3 months to see if that changed anything, and it did. I wasn't able to take it very often, I threw up constantly when I did, but I was able to lose about 10lbs and we got pregnant.

So far since having A I've kept that weight off, I'm about 3lbs heavier than I was before I got pregnant. I've been working out, cut soda out for about a month, and seem to be gaining weight, my face is breaking out & I think I'm seeing some extra hair on my face, sexy right? If you know PCOS those are some signs.

See this whole thing started about a week or two ago when I started breaking out more, which NEVER happens. I figured I'd look up my birth control only to find it's the same as the shot, just lower doses. Acne & weight gain could happen too, so after some contemplation we agreed that I would stop the pill and see if my acne went away and if my weight went down, were going to watch things a week at a time, but I know I need 

to do more, I'm worried about every pound I gain being PCOS. 

It's been about a week since I stopped taking my BC. My face has cleared up and I seem to be losing a little weight, just going back to what I was before. I was also told to take extra Folic acid at my last appointment. Which seems to be making my stomach sick, any suggestions? I take it at night with my prenatal. Not sure what to do. 

Hubs is starting a diet this next week since he's gained about 60lbs since I had A. I wanted to try a PCOS diet plan, at least for breakfast & for dinner a few nights a week, but I can't plan both a plan for him & a plan for me and make them work, he has a very specific plan, and I don't know if I  want to try & make the two work together. It's bad enough I already have to change everything around for him. 

Sounds mean, I know. But without him helping around the house at all, its just easier to not mess with too many things. I know some of you deal with/have dealt with PCOS, any thoughts? Ideas? Help. Ha. 

Hope everyone is doing well. 

12 months.

How did this happen Miss A?

How are you a year old?

At 1 years old, you are 22 lbs 13 oz, 30 3/4 in long, your head is: (I'll fill this in later) around.

You wear 18 month clothes, size 3 shoes, size 3 diapers.

You are an amazing little girl.

 Your personality is amazing.

 I love you more than anything. 

You have 6 teeth, 4 on top 2 on bottom. 

You still nurse & eat regular food. You don't sleep through the night again, yet. We're working on it, and your doctor said it could take quite a while. 

You wore your first set of pig tails.

You stand, walk around everything, try and climb. You love to play in the kennel at Grandma's house.

 You love to color, play with stickers and balls. 

You still love Tangled & Blue's Clues, we tried out Rio & you like that too. You cook & love to put things between your toes!

You love to read. You still only say  "da-da", and something that sounds like "don't". You love to clean up. You also love to play in the toilet paper.

You got your birthday pictures taken a couple days before you turned 1. I can't wait to print them off  bigger & put them up in your room. You go to church, but  would much rather crawl around the empty classrooms.

Birthday Pics Part 2

PYHO

I'm at a standstill.

I'm just here, waiting.

Waiting to see what happens.

Waiting to see what if I can figure out what to do next.

You see, it's been a year since (almost to the day) that  I had "the talk" with my in-laws.

A year since: I told them about all the lies their favorite sister told, since I told them how much they suck at being in-laws, called them on all the times they broke plans without telling me, how I waited for hours to hear from them and got nothing.

A year since I told them I wasn't outgoing, I kept to myself and don't like everyone in on everything ALL the time. A year since I told them if they would just give me time I would get to know them and things could be better. 

A year since they tried to break up my marriage. A year since they said I only had A to try and save my marriage. A year since they told husband to choose between me & A, and them. A year since I had accepted that my marriage was over because of the group of idiots my husband is related to.

You see, in that year, I opened up my heart and life, to allow them into it, and you know what, I got nothing. No phone calls, no texts, emails, nothing. I wasn't invited to anything, no plans were ever made. Nothing. They live 2 minutes away. They get together. They go out. They make plans. I'm not included.

What do I do? I've talked to my husband. He says I should keep trying with them. I'm over it. I'm to the point that I don't care if A doesn't see them or know them. It's not like they make an effort to see her or know her. I don't know what to do. It's been a year, they haven't changed. I just don't know anymore. Is it even worth it? What would you do?

Happy 2nd anniversary PYHO! 

Birthday Pictures Take 1!

It's Okay!

I haven't gone shopping since I was pregnant, like really shopping.

My weight was all over the place up then down then really up & up (thanks PCOS).

Well since I've lost my baby weight and am now 5lbs under it, I figured I should go shopping! I've consistently maintained this weight for almost 3 months! (Go me!) 

Tuesday I went shopping. I tried on a pair of jeans, a size smaller than what I was before A, and you know what! They fit!

It's okay that I squealed a bit about this quite loudly in the fitting room!

It's okay that those jeans run a bit big.

It's okay that the other 2 jeans I bought, were in the size I was before A. 

It's okay that I got a little sad about the other two pairs. 

It's okay that I smiled knowing I at least got one in a smaller size.

It's okay that I wrote this post early because, I was so excited about the smaller size that I just HAD to find a way to share with lots of people!

Wordless Wednesday.

Just a quick sneak peak at her 1 year old pictures!

It's Okay.

After two ear infections and growing 4 teeth, A's schedule is messed up to say the least. Our baby that slept through the night at 5 weeks, was waking up after half an hour in her crib and even when putting her in bed with us, she tossed and turned ALL night and woke up every 1-2 hours.

So we went to the doctors. He checked her ears. Said that her ears looked great, and that it takes a while after being sick to get back into a sleep schedule. At least 2 weeks. 

Okay. Well that began operation "get A to sleep in her crib, all night, again."

It was hard. We are not a "cry it out" household. I just can't do that. 

So I can say that the last few nights, she's slept 5 hours, in her crib.

After that she sleeps in our bed. 

So she's not back to where she was, but it takes time.

It's okay that she only sleeps 5 hours in her crib. 

It's okay that she sleeps with us after that because, I usually end up falling asleep trying to get her to sleep. 

It's okay that we don't CIO at our house. 

It's okay that this might take a while to get her back to her old schedule. 

As for me,

It's okay that I'm skipping working out (again) this morning, so I can catch up on blogs and post something.

It's okay that I've slipped up the last month and had a couple sodas. 

Which reminds me, I do not like soda anymore. YUCK!

It's okay that I agreed to start watching the "demon child" again, even though I'm not sure that I like her.

It's okay that I only agreed to do it because, I didn't know how to tell her mom no.

It's all okay. 

I'm planning A's first birthday. That is not okay. She cannot grow up that fast. It's too fast. 

Someone, PLEASE make it STOP!

Link Up!

I know, I already posted today, BUT I found this GREAT link-up and HAD to be a part of it. 

Getting to Know Me.

I started blogging to vent, this was my outlet, I was TTC and it was taking a toll on me. This blog became a journal for me when I was pregnant, capturing weekly updates and now it's all about A and the milestones in her life and whatever the heck else I want to blog about.

I link up. I love link-ups, though lately I'm trying to cut back on them, trying to force myself to write a post without the help of a link-up. 

I'm 22. 

I love chocolate.

Lately I've become addicted to ice cream.

I'm currently dieting, well sort of, I've stopped drinking soda & now work out. 

I love Netflix, it is my only source of TV. I've watched TOO many shows.

Psych.

Army Wives.

Desperate Housewives.

Raising Hope.

Swap People. 

& I just started Grey's Anatomy.

Just to name a few.

I make bows. Check out my Etsy Shop. 

I don't get along with my in-laws and I'm not afraid to talk about them.

I have a very full closet, almost too full.

I have 200 pairs of shoes & love every pair. 

Can't wait to meet some new bloggers!

I Love my Days.

Only 10 (of the many things) I LOVE about my days!

1. I wake up next to my beautiful baby girl & my handsome husband! 

2. That means I get to wake up to beautiful baby girl smiles.

3.  And I get those smiles ALL day long.

4. I also get some mean looks, which I find hilarious! She's good at giving nasty looks, wonder where she got that from?! :)

5.I get to watch my baby girl learn new things 

6. And practice what she's already learned.

7. I get all to hold her as long as I want and I'm almost positive I've never put her down.

8. I get to do everything with my little girl, like going to dinner with my family.

9. And going shopping!

10. And no matter what the day, I get to end it with snuggling with my baby girl, usually watching a show.

Friendship.

I had this friend, Cody. We actually met online when I lived in Cali. He was one of my best friends, we would talk on the phone for hours, we have so much in common. Large families, half mexican, half white, one parent with health problems, same religious background, just tons in common. When I moved to Utah, he moved to Utah and lived with his Aunt & cousins, he also got a job working with my Aunt & Uncle. My sister would always joke that we would get married. Then he left. After he left, I met Skyler and when I announced we were getting married, he sent me an email.

I was surprised to hear from him. Happy even. Until I read it. He told me that I was stupid for getting married so young. He expected better from me. And a whole bunch of other rude crap. I couldn't believe it. Why would someone send something so hurtful? My best friend even. So why I do I tell you this?

Well Cody posted on good ole Facebook, that he's engaged. The first thing I thought, was I'm so happy for him. Then I remembered what he had done to me, and I wanted to do the same back to him. Show him what it feels like to have your friend treat you like that. I didn't. I made sure to tell him congrats. It felt good. It felt better when I got a text from him telling me thanks, and asking for my address. 

I just couldn't do it to him. He's my friend, he was my best friend at some point and just to clear it up, we never dated and never thought/talked about it. I tried to keep in contact after I got married, it didn't work too well. He was always changing his number, doing this, doing that. I miss my best friend. I wish him the best. I want him to be happy. I want him to enjoy life. I want him back in my life. He lives in another state, it'd be nice to know that we can still be friends, especially now with him getting married. 

After this happened, I went to my in-law's Superbowl party. (BLAH!) Nothing has changed there. Yeah, I'll sit there and talk to them, but outside of their get together's, I get nothing from them. The worst SIL of all, well I guess I can't say worst, let's say the one I've had the most problems with, she asked her Step-Sister to come help her decorate her house right in front of me, after asking me tons of times to help her, I've just been waiting on her. I can't do it. I need a friend back. I need one IRL. Someone I can say, hey meet me here, or hey, come over I'm cleaning and want to talk. 

I just feel like there isn't a place for me, other than at home with A, like I don't fit in somewhere else. I don't know what brought this on, it couldn't have just been that announcement. Right now, I'm just feeling blah! 

11 Months.

Miss A, the day you turned 10 months we went to lunch at noodles and company and you were FLIRTING with a boy! YOU iniated the conversation you two had and everything! You were even dancing for him!

Here's a fun video of that.

You have grown SO much this last month, at your last check up (Feb 1) you weighed in at 20lbs 12 oz. 

You are still in size 3 diapers.

You wear size 18 month clothes. You are so dang tall! You are skinny though!

Here are some pictures from this last month

 Stinky left this month. 

Oh and you stand. You can climb up next to something and stand, ALL by yourself. It's adorable!

You also push your little walker car around, Aunt Ray has a video but won't send it to me! 

This month has been hard on you. You had teeth coming, then an ear infection (again) and more teeth) you currently have 3 teeth in and 2 almost in. 

You love to dance, play with stickers and still love to watch Tangled! 

Can you believe she'll be 1 in a month?!