Annoying Sounds.

10 Sounds I find Super Annoying.


1. Nails being clipped. Umm gross!
2. Gum being chewed. 
3. The voices of any of my In-laws.
4. People who chew with their mouths open.
5. Alarm clocks.
6. Dripping faucets.
7.Fireworks.
8.Dogs barking too early in the morning or too late at night.
9. When forks or spoons scrape against plates or bowls. 
10. Husband's phone buzzing early in the morning. 

And to end with a positive note,


Sounds that I love.


1. A spelling her name.
2. A's giggles.
3. Should probably just say anytime A says anything.
4. Rain.
5. Thunder.
6. Hearing a baby's heartbeat while you're pregnant. (I looked forward to every Dr's appt while I was pregnant with A.)
7. The sound of coffee being made or ice cream being scooped. ha!





Oh & p.s. check out this super cute giveaway!

Four Eyes.

Random fact about me. I wear glasses. Well I should at least. I started wearing them in elementary school. Just for reading though. I wore them off & on through out Junior High & High School. I never really felt comfortable in them though, so I mainly wore them when I hid in my room. I don't know why though, plenty of people in my family have worn or do wear glasses. My dad has ALWAYS had them, my mom had readers & now wears them ALL the time.

My sweet husband, Skyler wears eyeglasses too. He loves them. He used to just wear contacts, but now has decided he'd much rather wear glasses. Which I don't quite understand, I still find it silly to wear glasses. So what if I'm a little uncomfortable? 

Maybe I should go get my eyes checked. I'm sure I SHOULD be wearing at least reading glasses. Who knows, maybe I SHOULD be wearing  multifocal glasses by now. Whatever it is, I'm sure I SHOULD go find out. Maybe soon. Seeing as we do have Vision Coverage now. (Isn't that awesome?! I know I'm getting excited over insurance, but whatever! We haven't had Vision or Dental in the last 3 years, you best believe I'll be hitting up the Dentist when I get the courage too!)

Anyway, like most of you I like to shop online so I figured I'd look around and see if I could shop for or even buy eye glasses online. You know what? You can. I was super excited, because I don't have to go in and get my eyes checked just to try on some glasses.

Super fun right? If you didn't try it, you really should. I spent WAY too much time playing around with it!

What do you think? Anyway, go check out 

 GlassesUSA.com

and have some fun like I did. 

Decide to buy some? 

Summer Sale:

Get 30% off prescription eyeglasses (or sunglasses) + FREE Shipping with the code: Summer2012

Take 10% off any order of prescription glasses. Code: Blog10

**This post was brought to you from my friends at GlassesUSA.com**

ICLW.

First off, Welcome ICLW'ers! 

So excited to find some new blogs & hopefully find some new friends!

For those of you that don't know what ICLW is, check out the button on the right side of my blog!

  Also while you're there, check out the GFC Blog Hop

I'm super excited with blogging right now! I finally feel like I can do what I want. This blog originally started when I was TTC #1. 

Miss A

Who is now 15 months & is looking forward to eventually having siblings.

Out of habit I describe my blog as "mom after pcos". 

Well I am. I don't know if after is the right phrase. I really don't know much about the whole thing anymore really. I got pregnant a few months after starting Met.formin. I never made it back to the RE because our insurance changed & I was pregnant. I don't know how this is going to affect us with TTC #2. 

We stopped BC in April. I say "we" because hubs agreed it was time to start trying. It has now been 3 cycles since then. I'm currently CD 4, and wonder what this month will bring. This is my first cycle since stopping nursing A 2 weeks ago, it was only 3-6 days late. I say 3-6 because for a while I had 25 day cycles & then a 28 day. So yeah. 

I've read many comments on chat rooms about "being careful after weaning because you're really fertile", as in their husbands looked at them and they became pregnant.

So this is just a little update about TTC #2. I don't post about it much, if at all anymore, because I don't know how most of my readers would feel. Though I am thinking about making a TTC #2 page & updating there, for those that are interested.

I'm trying to post about a wide variety of things. There is so much more to me than just being a mom & TTC. I really hope you stick around and get to know me better. 

Can't wait to "meet" you!

Trying.

I feel lost right now. Maybe lost isn't the right word. I find myself searching for a change.Searching for something to make life different. I love my life, don't get me wrong.I just feel like I'm not doing enough.

 I haven't blogged much lately, I feel like I need to figure things out. Need to find a direction to go. I have some really fun ideas, I just need to actually do it. After blogging about my in-laws, I made one last attempt at trying to get a conversation started with them. Nothing in response. I'm over it, but I know that's not where response I should have. I  feel stuck, like it's an obligation to be friends with Skyler's family. I feel like if I don't things will go bad, again, but at the same time I don't have anymore room for hurt & disappointment from them.  

I just need to get over this bump. I may have forgiven, though I'm not sure, but I definitely haven't forgotten. I've received a lot of comments on prior blog posts concerning my in-laws and many of those suggest prayer. Pray for them. I've tried. I've spent many nights praying for them, praying for me to forgive them, for me to be able to forget & move one. I've prayed for the ability to understand them. 

It hasn't worked. I'm sick of praying for them. I know that is when I should pray, I just can't anymore. It has been over a year, I still have dreams of arguments. I can't do it. How else do you forgive & forget when the other side, hasn't done anything? I just need to be able to push them out of my mind, but I can't. I'm stuck with them forever. 

I'm trying. I'm trying to better myself. Trying to stay positive on everything. Trying to figure it out. Trying to forgive. Trying to forget. I don't what more to do. I'm just in a state of blah when it comes to the situation. I'm just here. Trying to figure it all out. 

PYHO

I'm at a standstill.

I'm just here, waiting.

Waiting to see what happens.

Waiting to see what if I can figure out what to do next.

You see, it's been a year since (almost to the day) that  I had "the talk" with my in-laws.

A year since: I told them about all the lies their favorite sister told, since I told them how much they suck at being in-laws, called them on all the times they broke plans without telling me, how I waited for hours to hear from them and got nothing.

A year since I told them I wasn't outgoing, I kept to myself and don't like everyone in on everything ALL the time. A year since I told them if they would just give me time I would get to know them and things could be better. 

A year since they tried to break up my marriage. A year since they said I only had A to try and save my marriage. A year since they told husband to choose between me & A, and them. A year since I had accepted that my marriage was over because of the group of idiots my husband is related to.

You see, in that year, I opened up my heart and life, to allow them into it, and you know what, I got nothing. No phone calls, no texts, emails, nothing. I wasn't invited to anything, no plans were ever made. Nothing. They live 2 minutes away. They get together. They go out. They make plans. I'm not included.

What do I do? I've talked to my husband. He says I should keep trying with them. I'm over it. I'm to the point that I don't care if A doesn't see them or know them. It's not like they make an effort to see her or know her. I don't know what to do. It's been a year, they haven't changed. I just don't know anymore. Is it even worth it? What would you do?

Happy 2nd anniversary PYHO! 

PYHO: Survive.

Life has been kicking us lately. 

Sky's "on-the-side" income dropped like to nothing out of no where, right when we needed that "extra" money the most. 

It seemed like the bills were piling, up. Wait they were. They were piling up, way over our heads. 

$2000 here. Another $300 there. 

Oh then Sky's student loan payments popped up. Great. That's another $500. 

I tried doing day care, first it was the "demon child" that didn't work out. Then it was Eli, and his dad broke his hand so that took away gym time which took by day care from me. It happens. 

Sky works 74 miles (one way) away from home. He drives 148 miles a day. 

You don't even want to know how much we pay in gas a month, just for his car. 

Okay, to make my point, it's AT LEAST $400, a month. 

Oh and his "great job with potential to move up" was a load of... well ya know. 

He was stuck.

We were stuck. 

What in the heck do we do?! 

There was no way we could survive another month or two. We filed our taxes ASAP so we could get that money and hopefully survive a little longer.

Sky constantly looks for jobs closer to us. He's interviewed at a few places. All of those places wasted his time. Their ads said they would pay what he need but that was a load too. 

Just when we decided to start looking out of state, he got a call. This job would be 29 miles away from home. He could take the train to work.

He got an interview. 

When he got home, he exchanged emails back and forth between the owner, and the guy he would work with. He got another call today.

They want him. They are going to write up an offer and send it to him in the next couple days.

They know what he wants. They can afford it. Now it just comes to  the chase. What can they offer. Why should we choose them? 

Well DUH, we will choose them, anything they can offer is better than his current place.

We're going to survive. 

It's moments like this, that I know someone somewhere is looking out for me.

Link Up!

I know, I already posted today, BUT I found this GREAT link-up and HAD to be a part of it. 

Getting to Know Me.

I started blogging to vent, this was my outlet, I was TTC and it was taking a toll on me. This blog became a journal for me when I was pregnant, capturing weekly updates and now it's all about A and the milestones in her life and whatever the heck else I want to blog about.

I link up. I love link-ups, though lately I'm trying to cut back on them, trying to force myself to write a post without the help of a link-up. 

I'm 22. 

I love chocolate.

Lately I've become addicted to ice cream.

I'm currently dieting, well sort of, I've stopped drinking soda & now work out. 

I love Netflix, it is my only source of TV. I've watched TOO many shows.

Psych.

Army Wives.

Desperate Housewives.

Raising Hope.

Swap People. 

& I just started Grey's Anatomy.

Just to name a few.

I make bows. Check out my Etsy Shop. 

I don't get along with my in-laws and I'm not afraid to talk about them.

I have a very full closet, almost too full.

I have 200 pairs of shoes & love every pair. 

Can't wait to meet some new bloggers!

I Love my Days.

Only 10 (of the many things) I LOVE about my days!

1. I wake up next to my beautiful baby girl & my handsome husband! 

2. That means I get to wake up to beautiful baby girl smiles.

3.  And I get those smiles ALL day long.

4. I also get some mean looks, which I find hilarious! She's good at giving nasty looks, wonder where she got that from?! :)

5.I get to watch my baby girl learn new things 

6. And practice what she's already learned.

7. I get all to hold her as long as I want and I'm almost positive I've never put her down.

8. I get to do everything with my little girl, like going to dinner with my family.

9. And going shopping!

10. And no matter what the day, I get to end it with snuggling with my baby girl, usually watching a show.

Friendship.

I had this friend, Cody. We actually met online when I lived in Cali. He was one of my best friends, we would talk on the phone for hours, we have so much in common. Large families, half mexican, half white, one parent with health problems, same religious background, just tons in common. When I moved to Utah, he moved to Utah and lived with his Aunt & cousins, he also got a job working with my Aunt & Uncle. My sister would always joke that we would get married. Then he left. After he left, I met Skyler and when I announced we were getting married, he sent me an email.

I was surprised to hear from him. Happy even. Until I read it. He told me that I was stupid for getting married so young. He expected better from me. And a whole bunch of other rude crap. I couldn't believe it. Why would someone send something so hurtful? My best friend even. So why I do I tell you this?

Well Cody posted on good ole Facebook, that he's engaged. The first thing I thought, was I'm so happy for him. Then I remembered what he had done to me, and I wanted to do the same back to him. Show him what it feels like to have your friend treat you like that. I didn't. I made sure to tell him congrats. It felt good. It felt better when I got a text from him telling me thanks, and asking for my address. 

I just couldn't do it to him. He's my friend, he was my best friend at some point and just to clear it up, we never dated and never thought/talked about it. I tried to keep in contact after I got married, it didn't work too well. He was always changing his number, doing this, doing that. I miss my best friend. I wish him the best. I want him to be happy. I want him to enjoy life. I want him back in my life. He lives in another state, it'd be nice to know that we can still be friends, especially now with him getting married. 

After this happened, I went to my in-law's Superbowl party. (BLAH!) Nothing has changed there. Yeah, I'll sit there and talk to them, but outside of their get together's, I get nothing from them. The worst SIL of all, well I guess I can't say worst, let's say the one I've had the most problems with, she asked her Step-Sister to come help her decorate her house right in front of me, after asking me tons of times to help her, I've just been waiting on her. I can't do it. I need a friend back. I need one IRL. Someone I can say, hey meet me here, or hey, come over I'm cleaning and want to talk. 

I just feel like there isn't a place for me, other than at home with A, like I don't fit in somewhere else. I don't know what brought this on, it couldn't have just been that announcement. Right now, I'm just feeling blah! 

The Scale.

I wasn't planning on writing a post today, I couldn't think of anything to pour my heart out about. Then it happened. I stepped on the scale. No weight gain, nor weight loss. I was still at my lowest pre-pregnancy, TTC weight. I've made it a month with a steady weight. I'm thrilled, makes me feel good. Yesterday I wore my skinny jeans, they fit great, just a little of a saggy tummy, but oh well. They were on, and I could breathe!  

Just the morning before Skyler was saying how we were coming up on starting to TTC #2. Which was on my mind for the rest of the morning, so when the weight thought was running around, it reminded me of the first round of TTC. It was difficult, PCOS is not friendly, though I know I was on the easier side of it. The Metformin was awful, I got so sick, and lost the weight, that they said I might. (I wasn't over weight, I was still in the good range, just had gained 15-20 lbs since I had gotten married.) I was at the number I am at now when I got pregnant. It's just a number. But that number makes me cringe when it goes up, makes me wonder if I'll have to get on Metformin again. I worry about any kind of weight gain. It's pathetic. It hurts. 

I was emailing with someone who is currently TTC #1 and her doctor suggested a counselor for her to see. I wish my doctor would have suggested that. I held it together, mostly, but deep down I was hurting. Too much for me to handle on my own. I'm sure people could tell. I talked to people about it, why didn't someone say something to me? Suggest someone to talk to? 

While going through marriage counseling I told Sky that maybe I needed to talk to someone about the things that were affecting me from my childhood, and he said sure, but it was never brought up again. I wasn't brave enough to bring it up after that one moment of courage.

 I hope if I'm ever in that place again, or near it, someone will speak up. I just want to know why? It's so easy for them to tell others what to do, but when I'm obviously in need of help/suggestion, why didn't they? It hurts to think they wouldn't say anything, but we're all so quick to judge. My in-laws that would be. My family understood, they talked to me, didn't judge, knew what I was going through and tried. But my in-laws, after they knew what I had gone through they continued to judge me. Judge me on past emotions. It's not fair. I'm hurt still, but I now have friends, blog friends, people that listen to me, let me pour my heart out.  

I hope you know, that every comment is appreciated, it makes my day to see you cared enough to say hello.  

Thanks Shell for letting me join you to pour my heart out! 

Thankful Day 5

Today I am so thankful for my home. Skyler & I worked very hard to get into a house that we could make into a home for our family. This home already holds so many memories. I can't wait to see the memories it will bring! Having a home is so wonderful, it came into our lives at the perfect time. I know so many people who aren't in homes or are constantly moving, it's so nice to know that I have a place to call home, a place that is mine and will be mine as long as I want/need.Speaking of my home, I'll be posting about my redone cabinets this week!

PYHO

I've never done this before. Diana is opening my blogging world up. I always see her doing it. So today I'm linking up with Shell. Diana talked about needing friends that are always there and it put whatever I was going to blog about somewhere that I've forgotten. It made me go, ya know what?! I have family that does the same darn thing!
So it's no surprise that my hubs family and I don't get along. I had a huge long post written about all the horrific stuff they done to me. The lies, everything. And decided it's not really that, it's the comments. The one "I don't think we can be close because I'm pregnant and you're not", the "You think that having a baby will fix problems in your marriage, it won't." These are the comments that make me want to puke. Make me honestly, want to effing punch someone.

I needed friends when we weren't getting pregnant, and most of our problems revolved around our infertility problems, yes I'll admit it, I let it hurt our marriage. I was so alone though. I felt and still even feel out of place when it comes to blogging, even though I tried to blog to get something. I felt and still feel like I fit in somewhere when I read blogs. I feel like I'm let in on your lives as a friend. I don't have anyone that I can really truly call a friend, outside of family. The friends I started out with from childhood all live in California and I moved to Utah at 16, and only did 1 year of highschool before I graduated. I don't have anyone I can just call up and be like Hey, come over. Hey let's go out. Hey, I'm having a break down. All I've wanted are friends, even if they are from my in-laws. People I could depend on, and all these people have done is criticize and say hurtful things about me. So what if I don't like my husband telling you how much he makes. He makes enough money to pay our mortgage and all the other stuff, so I can be a SAHM. That's all you need to know. Some months we do great, others not so great. You don't need a number. So what if I don't tell you we're trying to get pregnant, or when we plan on having a second one, because I'm scared that it won't happen anytime soon, though we'll probably start next year. So what if I don't tell you guys every detail of everything, or want people in the delivery room. My husband is my secret holder, the one who has seen me at both my best and my worst, I don't need the extra questions the extra worry if you aren't going to ask me questions, call me, or tell me your secrets. It's not a one way street.

I could go on and on about all their drama and such, and I have. I'm working on it though. All I know is, they all live withing 5-10 mins from me, (only one is about 10) the other 3 are very close, and I see them ummm, maybe 5 or 6 times a year. They've been to my house maybe 10 times, and we've lived here for a little over 2 years. No one just calls to do stuff. Heck they can call to see if I want to go grocery shopping with them or call to see if I can talk to them while they clean. My mom, my sisters, brothers and I do that all the time. I just try and try and they say it's me, so I change and still nothing.

I know this post is all over the place. I just can't seem to pour this out enough. My heart just hurts. I have a feeling I'll most definitely be pouring my heart out more often. 

A & Her Daddy.

Saturday morning we woke up to Miss A upside down. She had pushed off me to get closer to her dad. While he was in the bathroom she decided she needed to play with his pillows.

 She had her little feet pressed up against the headboard.

 Just playing away with her daddy's pillow.

 I FINALLY got her to look at me so I could get a picture of her cute little face.

 All she wanted though, was her daddy.

 And when he finally dove in for a kiss, she turned and gave me her I got what I wanted smile, before quickly moving back to paying attention to her daddy.

It's so cute. She's starting to really enjoy being with her daddy. I want to say Friday and Saturday night she even let him put her in sleep, she didn't even need to nurse! He just held her and out she went. 

Moab Part 2

On Tuesday we hit Arches National Park, before heading home.

Moab Part 1

So this past Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, we vacationed in Moab, UT. It was a nice getaway. We filled my parent's suburban, -- my parents, 2 of my sisters, my nephew Cadin, and of course Skyler, A & I. It was so much fun to take a trip as a family. It was A's first trip.

 Our first stop on Monday was at Dead Horse Point State Park

 The Moby Wrap was amazing until she wanted her daddy!

 We also went to Canyon Lands & because I can't hike very far with my hips and I carried baby we only got one picture on our short hike :) 

First Dr Appt... I guess

So yesterday, Thursday, 6/2, I took my baby in for the very first time to the Dr's. Well the first time taking her outside of her wellness check ups. I was sure she had an ear infection. After her bath earlier I noticed some drainage from  her ear. Crap. I called my mom because Dr. Google brought me to sites such as Baby.Center that told me babies do a few different things for ear infections:

They pull on their ears... she doesn't do this...I don't think she even knows she has ears

They don't like to lay down....no problem there. She's fine laying down.

They don't eat very well... umm... my boobs say she's fine there.

Drainage... yeah today but thats it.

Well I called my mom, my brother had so many ear infections he eventually went deaf, he's able to hear now thank goodness. She said her babies never had any signs other than random drainage, so that decided it, I was going to go in. Thankfully they had an appointment for 2, only half an hour from when I called. 

They got her weight and she's grown! 12lbs 12.5 oz! Yay! Well he came in and she was all sorts of wiggly for him, kicking him and such. It was too cute. Right ear was fine, left ear middle ear, ear drum looked fine, but there was some drainage, so he gave us some drops and said 4 drops twice a day just to be safe she may have an infection further in but he doesn't think so then the all important question comes

  any other questions?

 I didn't have any but my dear sweet Skyler did, now for the record when he is home we dwell in the living room, it's our lazy time, I take a break from cleaning most of the time he's off work, and at night we just wind down watching shows. Well Abigail is used to moving around non stop so his days off she is bored with just sitting with him, and then at night when he finally gets home its about her bed time so she's fussy. Because of all that he assumes that she is cranky all the time. Well he brought that up, so he suggested gripe water. Okay, more free samples, and then he said her diaper has been switching from green to yellow a lot. Well thats normal too.  

I understand his concern, but I've told him it's all normal, theres this mom thing that I believe we have that lets us know if there is something wrong with our babies. I don't know why but I feel stupid when he asks things that I've already answered for him. I feel like a bad mom. I feel like they look at me like I'm stupid. I'm too young. I don't know it's just ridiculous lol. 

D

D

Depo shot. I'd also call this the devil's shot. This is where all our problems started. I would never recommend this to anyone. The side effects are weight gain, skin reactions, depression, nervousness, change in sex drive, hair loss... and blah blah blah. I wish I would have done some more research on it right away, just thought it was fine. I trusted my doctor.

Doctor/Davis Hospital. I absolutely love my OB, he is the OB that found cervical cancer in my sister, and he also did the surgery to remove it. He is so kind and I love that his office is within walking distance of the hospital. It's right across the street.

Dating. Skyler and I didn't date for very long before getting engaged (less than 4 months) and so our dating phase lasted up through the beginning of our marriage. We met the Friday after Thanksgiving 2007, became a couple Dec 16 2007. And right away talked marriage and life. It was amazing.