Sunday, July 11, 2010

We've got...

Whoops looks like my uploading did work, I just don't know why it won't let me delete one of move it... anyway you'll read more about that later in the post!










TWO LINER!!!







That's right we're pregnant! Didn't think that would happen, I was prepared for the worst today! As you probably remember from my last post, I was feeling everything this month! Really nauseous and just blah! I kept telling myself put it off for another few days, it'll start you've got a few cramps here and there, you're slightly bloated, and your boobs hurt, that's all period stuff. Well this weekend Skyler (the new daddy!!) has drill, so he left at 5 this morning, I was so worried about whether to test or not, and so I didn't get up (out of bed) when he did, I didn't want him to be there for the 18th no. (well it would be more like 25th no, thanks to all the tests I've taken). So I cowardly sent him a text "test today or wait?" and got "Test" well I sadly walked into the bathroom and got the stinkin' pee test out and sat there waiting, praying that it would say yes. I saw the gray move past the first part and thought oh goodness, but then a line showed up and got darker and darker and as soon as that showed up I'm thinkin' maybe that's the not pregnant line, maybe I've been looking at this thing wrong, and then the second line showed up. I don't know how to explain how I felt at that moment. I guess a little of everything.

All I know is, I called Skyler and said guess what we got... and I was so out in lala land by then thinking is this really it?! I don't remember what he said but I'm pretty sure he was thinking no, and when I told him we got two lines, he's like "oh" and I said no that's what we want! and he's like OH! and then he was like I'm going to be a dad! Right then I definitely wanted to break down, I wish he were here, but like he said "that was the best way to start out drill!"

So now on to a new stage in our lives, being pregnant. I don't even know where to start, I have a endo appointment on the 29th, and an ob appointment on the 17th, ( a day after our anniversary!) should I just call the ob and say hey we we're pregnant, can we just add that to our list of things to go over when i get there?! or Do i need to call both doctors, do I try and get an earlier appointment with someone else? I really don't know what to do... any help would be great.

Sadly I always thought we'd have more time where we had to keep testing and trying new things, but THANKFULLY we don't have to, I just never asked back in April what we were supposed to do when we end up pregnant. I feel stupid not knowing, I already feel like a bad mom, not knowing what to do to take care of this mini little baby growing so far.

Well any advice would help, and if anyone out there actually reads this blog follow me so I can make sure I follow yours!

Hope all is well.

Friday, July 9, 2010

questions...

So this last month has been pretty crazy. I don't know what's going on but I've felt sick to my stomach EVERY day for the last few weeks, I'm even a day or two late already. (Last cycle was only 27 days this is day 30 now), I haven't been able to take the metformin due to my sick stomach and my crappy work schedule. I have no idea what to think, I have random cramps the last almsot week, but they last a few seconds and no bleeding. Its hard not to get my hopes up, so I will not POAS until next wednesday, it'll have been a week late by then. My boobs are swollen, joy.

So anyway on to the questions... If this cycle doesn't work out, when I see my re should I suggest clomid? Or just try to force the metformin in, even though my efforts haven't ended well so far?

My husband will be in texas for a couple weeks next month so I doubt that cycle is going to work. Should I do an hsg then?

I'm so confused with everything right now, late period, sick tummy, swollen boobs, but cramps and haven't really taken metformin this month. Any advice?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Metformin

Yesterday I decided to man up. I took my Metformin, of course I only took one and of course I felt pretty awful at several parts through my day but I lived. I didn't wake up in the middle of the night throwing up everything I have ever eaten and then some, I didn't wake up hoping to die, I felt fairly great waking up this morning. Maybe I'll be able to take Metformin continuously till my next Dr's appointment? I know I know, its only been 1 day and 1 pill, but I have yet to have been able to do that without wanting to die. I guess I still need to figure out what works for my stomach and Metformin. I know that no matter what I eat it seems that my stomach decides to bloat up unattractively, but I know its for a good reason and I'm more than happy to have this extra tummy bloat for it.--- Have I mentioned how excited I am about being able to make my doctor's appointments?! --- I honestly think this has been the only thing on my mind since Tuesday.

Family parties? this weekend, I know my family is having one, and I'm hoping Skyler's isn't. I know that sounds awful but I just can't stand it anymore. His older sister and his sister-in-law are both pregnant, the s.i.l is due in about 10 weeks and his sister is about 3 months along... maybe more, I really don't care. See we used to hang out once in a while stay up late talking and what not then her husband came home for a visit from AIT and she stopped talking to me for a few months then he came back for good and absolutely nothing, till April 19th, (the lovely day I started taking metformin and nearly died from all the throwing up) when she texted me not once but twice to tell us she was pregnant, that's right she pretty much poas and told everyone from her toilet. Personally I think that's ridiculous. I could understand posting to the blog or what not but she put it all over facebook and makes a point to point it out to me every time we talk through emails or every time we see each other at family parties.

She is also the one that likes to tell me she understands exactly how I feel because at one time she really wanted to have a family but she wasn't married and was getting old, **she was like 24** and thats how she knows how I feel. oh but not to worry, just because she can get pregnant fast doesn't mean she doesn't have other problems to deal with. I forgot those of us that can't get pregnant fast or easily don't have any other problems. I don't know about you ladies but I wish this was the only problem I have. I remember she told me once, oh I will not talk about the pregnancy all the time around you I know its hard, but sure enough that's the first thing she brings up, and honestly I don't care!!! I don't ask about it, don't tell me about it.

I know I sound absolutely rude, but I unfortunately haven't hit the point where I can be around people that don't deserve to have kids that have kids and keep having that, and be fine with it. Also, she threw me off by saying that she doesn't think we can be friends since she is pregnant and I'm not... what a b!tch... that's probably what pushed me over the edge the most, go ahead say you're better off, and that you know how I feel but don't say we can't be friends when I actually need them the most right now.

Wow what turned into a quick update turned into a complete breakdown of everything. Wish me luck with continuing my metformin this week, I hope everyone is doing well!

Sara

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Cycle Day... Somethin...

So as you can probably tell, I have lost track of the exact cycle day # it is... I'm almost positive I'm set to start next Wednesday though, so maybe around 21? Oh well, I just know that this current cycle started right on time! The last one was 28 days exactly! It was perfect, I hope that means that things are looking up for us.

We made our way to the DEERS office at HAFB yesterday and got me in the system and then signed up for Tricare Reserve Select, which I'm so excited about! I was just looking on their site and they cover everything up to IVF, I don't think we'll get that far but its nice to know that everything before then is covered! I finally feel --even more than before-- that this is our year! I may have said this before -- I know I told my Dr. this-- but even if its 11:59pm Dec 31 of this year and we get a positive a nice 2 liner, I'll be ecstatic!! This is cycle 18 like I have mentioned before, and its starting to get harder, yet its getting easier for me to say, "okay so it didn't work this time around but we're one cycle closer to it!" I'm just so excited to schedule my appointments and get going on all of this! Let's just hope that this insurance takes the 2 weeks that it says it does to become enrolled and what not, though Skyler & I did fax it in instead of mail it in so maybe it'll even happen before then! All I know is that I'm going to call and schedule appointments most likely tomorrow! I can't wait!!

Hope everyone is doing well!

Monday, June 28, 2010

It seems like life has been in a zillion different directions lately. A few posts ago I mentioned that my 16 year old sister was pregnant. She was about 6 weeks along and went to an appointment with her boyfriend's mom and blacked out, so they immediately took her to her doctor and they checked the baby and everything was fine, the Dr. said they miscalculated her due date, and changed it to Nov - end of october, and that brought her up to 4 months along, she said "set up an appointment to find out the sex." as they were leaving the Dr. decided to check the heart beat, and thats when she noticed there wasn't anything. The next day she had a D&C and life is been past that for a bit now. I know how horrible it may sound to her and everyone else but it's the best that she didn't go full term, she's 16, she needs to finish high school and get herself healthy before she even thinks about anything.

Now on to me, Skyler and I are still trying to get the insurance rolling, the military sucks at giving you information on how to do things. Hopefully today we can go to DEERS and get me in the computer get our id's and maybe even get the insurance? We'll see. I just know that pushing out my appointments is starting to wear on me. I just can't stand that I can't go see my doctor without paying $200 for the appointment and $500 for bloodwork. Oh well, there must be a reason to all this madness. My last cycle was 28 days exactly!!! yay! I just hope this next one is a beautiful as that --- only of course if we are not pregnant! but since this is cycle 18 I've started to learn not to expect too much, expect it to be late and slightly get my hopes up but never fully let my heart think I'm there.

I've realized that I don't post very often on here, and I think I should, maybe I get tired of posting about not being pregnant, maybe I don't think I have much to say since we're not seeing any doctors at this point and who really wants to hear much about my "normal" life -- if you're able to even call it that.

This weekend we traveled to St. George for a family reunion, it was wonderful, the weather was perfect and we had a ton of fun. I know what does this have to do with anything right? Well in the last year everyone has gotten pregnant and has had a baby boy, that's right my dad's family is popping boys out like crazy and so is Skyler's family, we're hoping that we'll be able to say GIRL when the time comes, but a boy would be just as wonderful!! But anyway, Skyler pulled me out of the room to tell me that he finally understands how I feel when I say that too many people are getting pregnant and having babies that don't deserve them. Now I know I don't' know everything about everyone but majority of the kids born into my family are "oops babies", now I really don't like to hear people talk like that, its ridiculous, and then there are the ones that think that they have tried forever, and blah blah blah. Anyway it was nice to know that Skyler can finally see hmm it's taking quite a while, and why does everyone else just get it?

So I'm due to start next wednesday, and I will yet again start Metformin, (my stomach has been so sick the last month, I've barely been able to keep anything down, and the stuff I can get down makes me feel awful!) and I'm going to start working out again! I need to keep myself busy or I'll lose my mind!

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well!
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