Forgiveness.

Why is that word so hard for me? Maybe it has something to do with the way my parents are. They don't do it very easily either. 

Forgiveness. 

Something we're supposed to do easily. I wish I was better at it. I still cringe (most times) at the thought of going to see my in-laws. My niece has her first birthday party this Saturday, and you know what, I don't want to go. No real surprise right? Well she is the daughter of SJ's sister Am, the one who majority of my problems with my in-laws are around. 

Back to my parents, see my dad is all about "don't trust anyone" yaddah yaddah blah blah blah. If you screw my dad over once, he'll remember it and just not trust you the next time. If you do something to my mom, she's all "that no good, bleepity bleepity bleep." She'll forgive you most times, but its not without the constant reminder of how you "done screwed her over". 

You know what that makes me. I'm the "don't trust any bleepity bleep, because they'll done screw ya over" type of person. I hold grudges. Like that SIL. She has made up lies about me & my brother Skipper. Well you know what?! I will not forgive "that no good, bleepity bleep!"  I "don't trust" her anymore, she "done screwed me over". Ya that's right. I move on and I don't bring it up... all the time...just whenever something reminds me of it. I know shame on me. I'm not going to be a very good example to Miss A. 

Truth is, I'm still hurt. I can't believe the things she's said to me, the lies she's told. I know I said one hurtful thing to her, but it could be taken either way really, but you know what?! I was hurt! I was completely pissed off! She's lucky I didn't stab her! Kidding. I only stab people in my head, and only the ones that really deserve it. I also can't forgive my BIL, when he told me I "only had a baby to fix" my marriage, I was about ready to puke. He doesn't know crap! He should probably be stabbed, mentally of course, too! I have never done anything to him. I don't really get too close to him because, I don't want to be hanging out with my husband's brother, just like my husband won't be hanging out with my sisters. 

See this post turned into something written in anger. I'm MAD! I wanted to try and write something, make myself feel better, maybe even turn over a new leaf. I don't know. I know you're probably thinking, go talk to them. I've tried. I really have. Even calmly. I've told them they've lied, they don't know what they're talking about. I'm past that. I need to find forgiveness, but where? 

Today I linked up with Shell, haven't linked up before? Check it out! 

My Christmas List

I'm linking up with From Mrs. to Mama this month for her Tuesday Posts, and I hope you do too!

My Christmas List.

A new washer, something that isn't front load, but that isn't broken like the one here.

A new fridge, stove, microwave, dishwasher, these are all dying slowly and painfully at my house.

Clothes that fit my new mom body and with that being said it brings me to list item #4

A new mom body look, this one is awful!

A carpet cleaner.

A job that is closer by for SJ, driving about and hour and a half Tue-Fri for work is ridiculous.

Motivation for working out.

Motivation to get my Etsy shop up and running.

Any kind of decent relationship with my in-laws, I'm sick of it all, really.

Speaking of in-laws, I want to have the ability to forgive easily, I don't. 

I'm also posting up for Monday Listicle

Life's Lessons.

1. If you ask your husband to PLEASE help keep the house clean, it will go through one ear and out the other.

2. You will not only keep the house keep while wrangling your 9 month old, you will also be asked to watch your inconsistent daycare child on Saturday.

3. This daycare child is naughty. She is a tantrum throwing child with selective hearing and only three phrases.

4. You will here, "I did it" "I want it" & "I like it" all freakin' day long.

5. You will need to run to Ikea, which is an hour away, but you have to.

6. She will throw a fit in the store.

7. You will want to beat her.

8. You know it's just anger causing you to want to smack the kid for screaming for NO reason, but you know better. You just smile and tell her to knock it the heck off.

9. You will be told they will pick her up at 5, which turns to 6, without asking.

10. You will then be told you will get said demon child at 3:45 Monday morning.

11. You will be in bed by 8:30 with a perfectly clean house Sunday night.

12. 3:45 comes Monday morning and you'll be sitting in your kitchen, for 45 minutes.

13. After you finally crawl back in bed you'll get a text asking if you can get demon child at 8.

14. Sure, it's not like I wasn't up hours ago waiting for her. You'll agree.

15.She will again be a demon child. You just accept this and ignore her attitude.

16. When 5:15 comes and she's finally leaving, you will be so thankful she's gone.

17. You will then have to get yourself pretty, make some delicious Chocolate Cream Cheese cupcakes for your dinner party across the street. 

18. You will eat about 3 cupcakes and at least one of those was just pure batter before being cooked. 

19. You will now be happy & ready to meet a new family! 

9 months

Miss A. How in the heck are you 9 months?!?!

At your 9 month check up you were:

20lbs exactly.(74%)

29 inches long. (93%)

Your head measure 17.25 inches.(67%)

You are wearing 6-12 month tops, and 9-12 month bottoms. 

You are in size 2 shoes & size 3 diapers!

You have learned to crawl on your knees.

You got another tooth! That makes two! Too bad you won't let me take a picture of them!

You had your first ice cream cone!

You had your first pigtail!

You cousin Stinky moved away and you sent your first video message to her!

You got your big girl carseat!

You made a new friend, Miss E.

You started refusing to sit on your chair in the bath.

You got your first Christmas hat.

You had your first Thanksgiving!

You went Black Friday shopping for the first time, at 2 that afternoon, and you also got your first Christmas toy, before Christmas!

You started driving!

You helped me decorate the Christmas tree!

And you helped me redecorate.

You have found your voice & love to scream!

Bows.

So if you follow me on Twitter, you should already know that I made two new bows today. Miss A decided she wanted to nap, my house (surprisingly) is still clean from this morning's quick cleaning. 

So tell me, what do you think? Do you like the style? The ribbon color/pattern? If you have any thoughts just let me know! Oh and remember if you want to do a giveaway on your site, just let me know!